Revelations
by 2hearts1soul
Summary: Rodney McKay has just turned 40. It's a momentous occasion for the smartest man in two galaxies. It's a milestone. One that leads inexorably to other major milestones. A) He finds his male Soul- Mate B) His Soul Mate has been on Atlantis all the time the Bastard C) He has a half brother D)His half brother is TONY STARK. Then Tony Stark comes to Atlantis... How is this his life?
1. Chapter 1

"Deep Space Radio Telemetry my red and gold fragrant flying ass" the cynical words were accompanied by rapid hand gestures as Anthony Edward Stark reviewed the holographic material hanging in the air around him with the beginnings of intense curiosity.  
The rest of the workshop was dark, the only light now provided by the digital images.

JARVIS pondered for a moment, the strange sensation he felt he supposed could be likened to a tightening in the pit of his stomach.  
An utter impossibility of course when he did not, in fact, have a corporeal body. Yet he still felt it.  
One of Sir's little enhancements no doubt, or perhaps he had spent too many years watching that very same expression cross his genius creator's handsome face, and his coding had adapted to the tell-tale precursor of the kind of chaos which ensured that the AI's nice orderly world went to hell in a hand-basket. It happened often enough for it to become a learned algorithm.

JARVIS considered emitting a sigh but he knew it would only make Sir laugh and thereby encourage his brilliant but reckless sire in his ill-considered but always enthusiastic actions. He did not feel like making Tony Stark laugh or offering encouragement. Sir really did not need any added incentive when he was in this mood.

"Indeed Sir" came the deliberately bland response from his loyal AI, then there was an obvious pause before he uttered the fatal words "Is this wise Sir?" JARVIS knew deep in his coding that they were a mistake but worry for his creator won out over common sense every time.

"Jay, Jay, Jay, I will find him and I will find out what the hell the foremost astrophysicist in the world is doing working in some bleak mountain stronghold belonging to NORAD. Where the hell is Cheyenne Mountain anyway? Colorado Springs? Why is that genius working for the damn Air-force when he damn well should be working for me with Foster and Selvig on the Einstein Rosen Bridge?  
It's like Rhodey Mark II. Well at least it not some secretive "keep the world in the dark because we know best and you poor plebeian's can't handle the truth" super spy SHIELD kinda deal. It's only the god damn Air force. The SI Legal team should be able to break any contract he's under. I pay them enough. Now there's a thought. I just best that the one eyed leather fetishist pirate knows what exactly what the elusive Canadian scientist is doing there. Jay Kiddo, make a note that I want any and all information held by SHIELD on Dr Meredith McKay and his rocky habitat. I thought Meredith was a girl's name? Don't roll your all seeing eye at me my minion of minions, or I will sell your ass to MIT so that all you do all day is scan those ugly student faces to open doors."

The uninterrupted stream of consciousness didn't faze the AI in the slightest.

JARVIS merely intoned robotically "Me, with a brain the size of a planet…" Tony's startled bark of appreciative laughter rang around the unusually silent room. "What I could do with an Infinite Improbability drive Jay" the words were almost boyishly wistful. "I'll get right on that then Sir, flying whales and hydrangea plants will be my top priority"

"You are a sarcastic brat kiddo"  
"I blame my parent Sir, he's a bad influence"  
"And it makes his little metallic pulsing blue heart proud kid, so proud"

Tony's delighted laughter died away and his face became serious. "I need the guy to complete the team and give us a fighting chance to enable Thor's return Jay. What the hell could be more interesting for a scientist of his calibre than knowing his work will allow him to eventually meet with actual aliens from another planet?"

The rapid fire words came to a stop and there was a pause as the next sentence seemed to have been dragged out of him with extreme reluctance. But he was talking to JARVIS, the amazing being he had helped to created, because JARVIS had grown at an exponential rate once Tony had brought him on-line. For years Jay was the only one he had truly trusted with his whole soul, even though he loved and trusted Pepper and Rhodey, no-one knew him as well as JARVIS did, so he uttered the rest, knowing the words were safe in his AI's keeping.

"I haven't only just found the love of my life, my actual fucking soul mate, to lose him forever because of the damage that nutjob Reindeer Games caused to the Bifrost." The last few words were almost snarled in the direction of the multi layered holograms before he turned his back on them, his mind racing with memories.

Tony Stark did not allow anyone to see his true feelings, he hid behind masks, hell even his masks hid behind masks. Obfuscation and misdirection had protected what was left of his black hearted soul for as long as he could remember. Well to be truthful it was actually since he and then the world had realised he didn't have a soul mark and he wasn't going to get one. The "Soulless Stark" he had been called by the Paparazzi, he had almost preferred the delightful "Merchant of Death" but he had long ago come to terms with both of those heinous terms.

Not one word, not a sign, not even a fucking punctuation mark marred his goddamn lily white perfect skin whilst he was growing up

By the time he had hit eighteen, all the platitudes and soothing nonsense about being a late bloomer had long been silenced and pity had been replaced by disgust and distrust because only those unworthy of love or one of fate's pathetic little bitches did not wear the mark of their soul mate.

The expensive "specialists" Howard had dragged in from across the globe had finally come to a consensus and declared to Howard that there was little chance of a Soul Mark appearing on Tony now he was fully grown. All of them except for the very last pair of specialists Tony had been forced to see.

Tony vividly remembered the Ndembu Diviner and Folk Healer brother and sister act the Howard had "persuaded" to travel all the way from Namibia on the Stark family private jet. Howard's last resort before washing his hands of the whole thing and his own damn son. The Diviner had told him his fate was a "glorious gift from the stars". Howard had the pair of them heading back to the African continent almost before the last words fell from the guy's mouth.

It had been years since Tony had even remembered about his so called glorious gift. He had wondered when he danced with Virginia Potts that night under the stars but the smiley face on her left arm which corresponded with the red bell pepper on Happy's right wrist put paid to any slightly wistful leanings in that direction.

Tony had thought that surviving a detonated nuclear warhead in space and falling back to Earth unconscious but alive could have been interpreted as a glorious gift from the stars but he finally understood what the gift was when he was jerked from unconsciousness by the Hulk's roar of anguish. And yet again his life was changed forever.

He lay there trying to get his bearings staring up at the exhausted but relieved faces of the rest of the Avengers. Thor had lowered himself and his hammer to kneel besides him. His beautiful blue eyes shimmering with unashamed tears. Who the hell was going to give this muscular man mountain brawler and wielder of that fucking awesome hammer grief for being "in touch with his feelings?" Thor's deep voice was soft and respectful as he uttered "Your great courage shall be immortalised in the epic odes of my people and sung in mine halls until the very stones they are built on have forgotten my name. You have a hero's heart Man of Iron"

Tony quirked a grin at the inhumanly beautiful Alien god besides him, uncomfortable as always with true compliments and trying to brush off the praise. "Best give it back to its rightful owner then, I'm no hero Thor, just ask the Capsicle over there"  
Tony saw the fierce frown cross Captain America's face but before the man could even open his mouth, Tony's head was tilted gently to the side by an enormous hand. Skin to skin contact and the feeling that rushed through Tony's body, shivered through his nerve ends, heated his blood and froze his brain was like nothing he had encountered ever before. An intense tingling sensation that almost bordered on pain struck on the area to the right of the arc reactor.

Tony arched his back as he drew in a gasping breath. JARVIS released the suit and it fell to pieces around him. Tony lay there like a stranded fish for once unable to come to a conclusion based on the data supplied. He stared up at the kneeling Asgardian in stunned silence. "What the hell just happened Point Break?" he could barely stutter the words out.

The awe and delight grew on Thor's face, "I am truly blessed this day. You not only have a Hero's heart but you also have mine and my mark Svass. I have waited aeons for my soul mate, truly I believed the Norns had seen fit not to gift me with the rest of my soul and now you are here".

He paused, the smile dimming as his voice thundered with rage. The hammer sparked dangerously and the surrounding Avengers moved back warily. "Those filthy cowards and their exploding device could have killed you. I would have lost you without knowing, without the claiming" He reached frantically for the smaller man, and gathered him tightly to his muscular chest. "I could have lost you my heart of hearts, my soul, my Anthony."

Tony turned his head up to protest at how tightly he was being held, when the God of Thunder's lips crashed down upon his and he felt like he was being devoured at the centre of an emotional and physical hurricane. When he was finally released Thor was staring down at him adoringly, still holding Tony tightly in his arms. Who knew the God of Thunder was a cuddle hog?

When his brain finally cleared from the delightful haze of lust that had shut out everything else, he knew he had to correct Thor's mistake. He was no one's soul mate and god damn did it hurt to have to say it to the magnificent specimen of manhood that held him so lovingly as if he was the most precious thing in the universe. Maybe his mother had held him like that when he was a baby but he couldn't remember a time when he had felt so… cherished. Even the original Jarvis hadn't been that keen on physical displays of affection although he knew the man had loved him.

He couldn't watch that gorgeous face as he gave Thor the bad news. He just couldn't. Everything he had ever wanted, longed for, craved, all gift wrapped in his own favourite colours. Red and Gold. Red cape, gold hair and the kind of blue eyes that reflected the colour of the sky when Tony was doing what he adored, flying, the only place and time where he felt truly free and alive. God he wanted Thor with the same bone deep hunger that had forced his continued survival in that fucking cave in Afghanistan.

"Thor, I can't be your soul mate. I don't have any marks. I never have had" the words were ground out through clenched teeth, his eyes shut. A small part of him heard the shocked intake of breath from Captain America, he and Thor would have been the only ones of the group not to know about the infamous "Soulless Stark".  
"Ah Tony" the pained words were almost a whisper from the man with a plan. But it was Thor's reaction which shocked and offended him. The big guy laughed. He fucking laughed at his admission, at the years of pain and solitude. Tony began to struggle, his rage mounting. He was going to kick the beautiful bastard's ass.

"Peace Svass peace, of course you had no marks before, because we are of different worlds, but you bear my mark now and as I do yours. On Asgard we are not born with the soul mark. It only graces our bodies when we touch the one meant for us. Look and see with your own eyes my beloved".

Thor gently released him and then unselfconsciously stripped away his armour. The Captain started to protest in embarrassment, looking around anxiously "Um Thor, should you really do that out in the open?"  
Black Widow patted the Captain's arm gently, "I think we all deserve a little treat after the battle Cap" she murmured with wicked amusement and then acknowledged the grin Thor spared for her before he turned his attention back to his confused but adorable soul mate.  
Thor didn't hear Clint's slightly subdued but cheeky agreement or the "Puny naked God" that rumbled with disgust from the Hulk before he sat down with a ground shaking thump, determined to stay close to Tony. Thor was utterly focused on his newly discovered soul mate. Anthony, his Anthony stared at him with such an expression of longing and wary hope that it nearly broke his heart.

There on his bare chest was an image of the arc reactor, in exactly the same position as the real arc reactor in Tony's chest. Tony's mouth dropped open. His eyes filled with tears but he didn't let them fall. He couldn't take his eyes away from the Soul Mark. How could it be his? How? He raised his hand and placed it over the mark. Tony closed his eyes again as he felt the mark beat in time with his arc reactor. How was it possible?

"Show me Svass" purred the God of Thunder, possessiveness darkening those sky blue eyes to a thundery silver. Tony tore his eyes and hand away from the mark and stared up at Thor. "Show me" the god repeated with gentle encouragement. Tony looked at his hands as if they didn't belong to him, his brain out of sync with his body as those hands took hold of the hem of his black tee-shirt and lifted it up.

Thor dropped his gaze from Tony's beautiful bewildered brown eyes and stared at the mark adorning his beloved's chest right next to the device that was keeping his beloved alive. That would be the next thing to be dealt with. He would not allow anything to jeopardise Anthony's health. He would take him to Asgard and beg Iðunn to gift him with an apple to bestow health and immortality on his Soul Mate. But first to convince his beautiful Soul mate of the truth of their claiming.

"See beloved, Mjolnir too has claimed you for our own" Thor's laugh was deep and joyous. His face ablaze with happiness. Tony stared at him with confusion until Romanov glided towards him and handed him a small mirror. Tony's eyes skimmed her skin tight uniform, where the hell had that been hiding but she merely quirked an eyebrow at him in amusement.

He overcame his instinctive reaction to being handed anything because he really needed to see what was making Thor grin like a lunatic. He gingerly took the mirror but he was almost afraid to look. His legendary reckless courage suddenly deserting him. This wasn't his life he was gambling with, this was his soul. He hesitated until Thor's understanding loud whisper of encouragement. "Trust me Anthony Edward Stark"

The breath he drew was shaky but finally he angled the mirror and the image of Thor's hammer was reflected back at him. Flat smooth and unmistakable amongst the hard ridges of the scar tissue next to the reactor.

He couldn't take his eyes away from it, not even when they blurred and the tears fell down his cheeks. He had a soul mark. "Mine" he heard Thor's roar of triumph before he was gathered back into the Prince of Asgard's arms and he was thoroughly kissed. Lightening sparking above them like fireworks for a New Year's Eve celebration.

Tony shook off the memories. He was going to get his Soul Mate back come hell or high water. He would use anything and anyone to do it. He had lived too long without Thor already. The insouciant arrogance was back and a wicked smirk crossed that absurdly handsome face  
"Besides which Jarvis, the damn man has ignored me for months. He hasn't responded to any of my emails, phones or even snail mail. I am Tony Stark, no one ignores me. I want everything you can find on this guy, Jay, all his little foibles, and anything that will persuade him that working for me is the best thing since I invented the arc reactor. Then once we know our prey, it will be time to pay dear Doctor McKay a visit. I am pretty sure SI must supply something to Cheyenne Mountain and if not, Rhodey can escort me to the air force base. Dr Meredith McKay will not stay hidden from me for much longer"

JARVIS finally gave into temptation and sighed, rather loudly.

Tony gave that mischievous grin that made him look years younger and happier as sauntered towards the exit. "Should I have rubbed my hands and cackled evilly to emphasise that sentence Jay or would that have been a touch over the top?"

The workshop's sliding door came remarkably close to sounding like it was being slammed as it was shut behind him. It also came very close to hitting his ass on the way out. Tony laughed out loud.

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Lt Colonel John Sheppard picked up the supplies he had requested from Earth when Colonel Carter had left to go the IOW oversight review. He had his mission target in sight now and he wasn't going to fail this one. He might still be on light duties after the surgery Dr Keller had to perform but this particular mission was more of a stealth operation until the final hopefully successful take down. Damn it this was no time for lack of confidence or second guessing himself. The mission was going to be a success.

The last few weeks had been a nightmare. The Pegasus Galaxy didn't seem to understand the term "Give us a fucking break" when it came to survival, but god damn it, being stranded 48000 years into the future, then having to fix the freaking timeline with the help of a holographic older Rodney, erratic solar flares and the judicial use of Daedalus, brute force and skin of his teeth outright desperation. To cap it all they had ended up lying injured in the remains of Michael's facility because he had been dumb enough not to consider it had been booby trapped. He had blamed himself for McKay, Ronan and Lorne being trapped with him, because it was his god damn stupid fault and then dealing with Michael and his insane plan for the hybrids to force a civil war with the rest of the Wraith, and ultimately rescuing Teyla and her new born baby.

All that shit had really concentrated his mind and made him realise exactly what he wanted out of his life, for however long he had left to live it. There was no guarantee of long life in the Pegasus Galaxy, hell not even the Ancients had survived it. Especially when not only were they fighting hostiles but they were critically short on power and reliable ZPMs.

Twice he had nearly lost his Soul Mate, fucking twice. His Soul Mate had been in danger many times before on Atlantis and John wasn't sure what made these last horrendous weeks different but they were. Totally and utterly different. He couldn't ignore it anymore.

When he had seen the bleak desert surrounding the long deactivated Atlantis (he couldn't say dead, not when it came to Atlantis, he just couldn't) and then the hologram of an older careworn desperate Rodney, it had broken something inside of him. He had been alone 48000 years in the future, utterly alone except for Rodney. That stubborn boastful irritating exasperating genius of a man had refused to let him go and made sure his hologram was there to help him and save the rest of them too.

Now he knew what he had to do to fix his life and be damned to any stupid outdated homophobic policies. If Homeworld Security wanted him off Atlantis well that was fine but there was no fucking way that he was going without his Soul Mate. Now wouldn't that be an interesting discussion with the IOW.

His stubborn denial of his Soul Mate had been instinctive at the start, he had always thought his mark was a woman's name and when he found out it was a man, he had shut down any longing or claiming impulse. Hell deep down he knew he would prefer a male Soul Mate, he had his fair share of encounters with both sexes but it was the wrong time.

John knew he could be a stubborn bastard, it was a Sheppard family trait and his career was too important to him, DADT was alive and kicking in the Special Forces, even though the rest of world made no demur about same sex Soul Mates. There was so much to do, explore, this was the opportunity of a lifetime, it was another galaxy for fuck's sake, that never got old but John knew he had been a utter coward.

He had wondered why his Soul Mate had never called him out on his bullshit behaviour but knowing the guy, he probably hadn't even realised who John really was. If his mark wasn't in equation form he had probably ignored the damn thing for years as an irrelevance.

Operation Soul Mate Retrieve and Secure was about to commence.

Colonel Sam Carter's parting words to McKay had hurt. In an odd sort of way he had been proud of delivering that baby. It was something normal people did. McKay hadn't wanted to be normal for years, he knew he was special, he knew he was one of a kind. In his considered opinion and to be honest, his opinion was the only one which should be considered, ever, normal was vastly overrated.

But holding that little thing, who had stared up at him with no judgement, no expectations, just the basic human need to be held and cared for, it had felt… nice. Ergo the flowers for Teyla, with the secret deeply hidden hope that he would be given permission to hold the small thing again and then Carter suddenly decided she's a damn comedian. He should have told her not to give up her day job, but she wasn't any good at that either.

Damn it he hadn't let petty rivalries affect him in years, or rather he was the one who normally struck first. He knew he was a genius, he knew his own worth, he had stopped trying to fit in and let his genius shine years ago. Be damned to their petty jealousies. He just had to make sure that everyone else just how much of a genius he was too.  
He would never go back to being that bullied kid who had been forced to eat his meals with his underwear on his head. So he had learnt to strike first.

But her mean spirited little jibe about naming Teyla's kid had managed to hit him hard. He hadn't been expecting it and for a second it took his breath away but he hadn't shown her how much it had hurt. He never let them see how any of their pathetic jealousy and jibes affected him. His emotions were his own thank you very much and he might be loud and boastful but it worked to keep everyone away from his true feelings. They were excellent masks to keep him safe.

Rodney stared down at the flowers in his hand and came to a decision. He really didn't mind what Teyla called the kid and Sheppard had been the driving force behind saving all their asses once again but if he was honest with himself and he always tried to be honest with himself even when he put up all his masks for everyone else, he just didn't feel up to being around either Teyla, or Sheppard at the moment, not even if he got a cuddle with the small thing out of it.  
He had enough work to be going on with, there was always something to do, repairs, discoveries, surprises and disasters were never ending in Atlantis so he would head back to his lab.  
But Teyla should have the flowers. She was a girl she would like them.

He stopped a passing Marine and asked politely (for him) if he would take the flowers to Teyla's quarters and tell her the little bouquet was from the science department. The Marine had stared at him strangely but acquiesced quickly enough when he saw the frown begin to form on McKay's face. Sometimes his reputation for being a cantankerous rude bastard came in really useful.

Rodney headed back to the labs, dismissing babies, Athosians and Sheppard from his mind. He had more important things to worry about and he could relieve his frustrations shouting at Zelenka because it was always amusing when Radek shouted back.

Ronan Dex stared at John Sheppard as he slowly ate his meal in the canteen. "I have not seen McKay for a few days" the big man rumbled, a total non sequitur to the conversation they had been having about training programmes for the newly arrived military personnel.  
"Nor I John" Teyla's voice was soft so as not to disturb the sleeping infant in her arms. "I have wanted to thank him properly for his assistance at the birth of my son but he has not responded to my requests to see him" There was concern and a slight touch of guilt in her usually calm controlled voice.  
"Do you think Rodney is angry about the choice of names?" She asked bluntly, a frown on her face.

John looked up at her, startled "Do you think he is sulking Teyla?" there was a half amused, half concerned expression on the Colonel's face. "I haven't seen him either" he admitted but then his trademark cheeky smirk appeared as he confessed "Which has been very useful. I have had a little planning to do. It was Rodney's birthday when the brown stuff hit the fan. In fact young Master Emmagan was born only two days after McKay's Fortieth birthday and I think we should give McKay a surprise birthday party."

Dex and Teyla exchanged a confused look "What is a surprise birthday party?" the big man asked intrigued. The smirk changed into a fully-fledged wicked grin as Sheppard leant closer to his team mates.

Rodney left the lab and strode toward the canteen. He could feel his blood sugar levels fluctuating and was finally sick of the snacks he kept in his drawer. He wanted a proper meal, something hot and sustaining before he went back to work. He had left it late enough that his team mates should have already eaten so he wouldn't have to talk to them.

He wasn't sulking, he definitely wasn't sulking, he was just being kind to himself. That was the kind of bullshit terminology Katie Heightmeyer would have approved of. A sudden painful pang hit him unexpectedly. They had lost so many members of the first expedition and Katie had only ever tried to be kind to him. There wasn't time to mourn their losses properly as they lurched from crisis to catastrophe to disaster one after the other. Heightmeyer would have forced a day off on all of them after the last Atlantean event.

So Rodney was lost in thought and not really aware of his surroundings until he walked into the darkened canteen. He frowned in momentary confusion. He wasn't that late surely, and anyway the canteen was always open if not staffed twenty four seven.  
What the hell? He was just about to tell Atlantis to put the lights on, when they came on anyway and there was this cacophony of noise that sounded suspiciously like "Happy Birthday to you".  
Rodney blinked. Most of the remaining members of the first expedition were in front of him wearing small shiny hats. And looking utterly absurd with it. His team of Scientists were using the blowouts from the New Year's Eve party, and some of the military personnel had whistles. What the actual hell?

The moment became even stranger when Lt Colonel Sheppard walked up to him with an enormous cake with lit candles. Had they all lost their freaking minds? Did he need to run a diagnostic of the air ventilation system or was he just hallucinating at his desk because he had let his blood sugar drop too low?

The noise stopped and Sheppard couldn't stop the laughter at the expression on his face. "We finally found a way to shut McKay up People!" Laughter and shouts of Happy Birthday just made his eyes go wider.

Sheppard continued "We missed your birthday because of that shit with Michael, so we decided to celebrate it instead of just having a boring same old "thank god we are still alive" shindig. Blow out your candles Rodney before they all melt onto the cake. Then we all get some cake and yes, we made sure there was no citrus in it. Its chocolate" A cheer went up around the room.

"Anyone would think you were trying to impress them with all this splendour Lt. Colonel" Rodney muttered as he bent obediently towards the brightly decorated chocolate cake.

"Anyone? Yeah Rodney anyone else would come to that conclusion and maybe extrapolate on it to get to another obvious one", Sheppard muttered wryly, the affection in his face obvious to those closest in the circle around Rodney.

Major Lorne started with surprise, threw a few glances between the oblivious scientist and the exasperated Lt. Colonel, and then winced in sympathy. Hopefully the Lt. Colonel knew what he was doing. Even if they were in the Pegasus galaxy, reports were fed back to Earth and Homeworld security regularly now Colonel Carter and McKay had perfected their own version of the Einstein Rosen Bridge.  
He watched Sheppard as the guy rubbed at his chest almost as an afterthought. The Major's eyes widened as another possibility dawned on him. Soul Mates? If that were true then that was going to set a cat amongst the pigeons. Looked like they were in for an interesting few weeks! Never let it be said that serving on Atlantis was boring.

Teyla moved forward with the baby snuggled into her chest. Amazingly the child had slept through the abominable noise which had greeted him. "We know that this is your fortieth year Rodney but Dr Zelenka would not let us use all the candles in case the combined flames set off the internal sprinkler system."  
She blinked innocently at him and he heard that traitor Radek snigger behind her. "Oh ha bloody ha" not his wittiest response but he had been rather flummoxed by the whole thing so he decided to just go with the flow for the moment until he could regain his equilibrium and then blast them all for their impertinence. After a large portion of the cake of course. Mmm cake.

McKay snagged another piece of the delicious cake and made his way out to a deserted balcony. He hadn't exactly snuck out, just not made it too obvious he was going. The party goers had brought out the music and the disco lights. He wasn't going to be missed now, not with the hooch flowing and their ear drums being tortured while they gyrated in mad movements on the space they had cleared.

Though oddly he was appreciative of the effort they had gone to, even if he didn't understand it. It had been fun for a while. And there had been cake. Cake always made things better.

Now he just wanted some peace and quiet and the rest of his cake. He sat with his back against Atlantis's wall, feeling the city hum deep in his muscles as if it were actually hugging him. He could feel the residual tension leave his body and he relaxed as he stared up at the night sky. So different to Earth but as amazingly beautiful as home.

The sound of the footstep was deliberate. He knew John well enough by now to understand that the guy didn't want to startle him. He gave a wry smile as the guy plonked himself down beside him.

"Lt. Colonel Sheppard" Rodney offered genially without taking his gaze from the sky. "Chief Scientist Dr McKay" Sheppard responded in the same light-hearted vein. Then a tumbler was put into his lap and Rodney heard the sound of a bottle being opened. The rich sweet aroma of a damn fine single malt whisky interested him enough for him to finally turn his head towards the man sitting so close next to him.

"No beer?" McKay queried in surprise, "No beer" Sheppard confirmed "Landmark birthday, it's not every year you turn forty" the guy actually had the audacity to wink at him.

"Not unless you are stuck in a time loop like that utterly appalling film Dirt Pig Day" McKay snarked back at him.  
"Ground Hog Day Rodney, it's Ground Hog Day, how many times do we have to go through this and it's a great film, which is why I made you watch it. Now damn it I didn't come here to argue about films"

"I prefer my terminology, it's not a great film, the science was unforgivably sloppy, an animal John, an animal curses the idiot! And no offence but why did you come here?"

In response Sheppard merely offered the bottle with a raised eyebrow and Rodney shrugged and held up the tumbler with less than good grace. Peace and quiet were definitely not on the agenda for the rest of the evening then. But Rodney was not too upset about it. He had always enjoyed Sheppard's company even if he was a cheating cheater who cheats at remote control cars. Bloody ATA gene unfair advantage!

A generous amount was poured into both of the tumblers, then Sheppard also turned to stare up at the dark depths of the night sky. They sipped their drinks in companionable silence

"Expensive whisky" Rodney commented, no judgement only appreciation in his tone. Sheppard's smile turned wry. His voice seemed to drop an octave as he responded huskily. "I was raised to expect only the best, spoilt rich boy who had to fight his way through the privileged silk trappings to serve his country, but I still expect the best Rodney and when I finally wise up enough to know what that actually is, I make sure I get it" John's words were heavy with intent, his eyes still targeting the small glistening stars above them.

But Rodney would bet his stack of drawer treats that Sheppard didn't see one of them, and that he was focused on him instead.

Rodney's brow furrowed with confusion but before he could ask, suddenly Sheppard's face was next to his own, one arm braced on the wall as he lent over Rodney. Rodney could feel his pulse speed up, irritatingly he wasn't sure if it was anxiety or anticipation.

Well damn. "Umm Sheppard what's with the ninja impersonation and the lack of personal space" he stuttered, trying to break whatever strange mood had fallen over the pair of them.

The affectionate smile that lit up John's face almost belied the predatory gleam in his eyes.

"You didn't finish your drink McKay, there's still some liquor on your lips" Sheppard purred as he bent closer and licked teasingly at Rodney's mouth. Rodney didn't known if his eyes could get any wider without falling off the side of his own face, he gave a startled moan as his brain powered down like Atlantis without a ZPM. Sheppard grinned with wicked satisfaction at the noise, the absolute swine.

Rodney could actually feel his own lungs seize up which could not be good right? That was bad, so bad. He needed his damn lungs to keep his brain functioning. His brain, he had a magnificent brain, and it was time it came back on line again. He drew a deep breath, ignoring the taste of the whisky from John's breath, and started his complaints procedure. There was a list. Of things. Many things. Things he was going to give John grief for. There was a list he knew it. But the only coherent words out of his mouth were to do with John's methodology not the whole crazy premise behind it.

"Damn it Sheppard even I know how cheesy a line that was" Rodney grumbled, ignoring the pleasurable tingle that had shot through his lips straight down his spine, and which seemed to set off some chain reaction through his veins until it lodged near his heart, precisely where his mark was in point of fact. No he wasn't going to think about that. He was ignoring it. It was not happening just because his body was going through the delightful throes of something, that didn't mean anything. No not going to think about that. Not at all.

What the hell was John doing? They were friends, colleagues, they saved each other's lives, and they saved the bloody universe together. They were not the kind of friends that came with benefits. And what the hell was happening to his body?

Sheppard stared at him in shock then he threw back his head and laughed helplessly. A few startled seconds later Rodney joined him, not able to take his eyes of the beautiful green eyed man besides him.

It had to be some sort of insidious viral attack because McKay could feel his hormones going into rampant libido mode. Unfortunately normal brain function had not been restored and he was pretty damn sure it wouldn't be until he had kissed the man properly. Please God, not that he believed in a God, but if there was one, let it only be the kissing. He wasn't gay. He had never been gay. He could aesthetically appreciate the human form both male and female but no man had even made him horny. Not like he was now. Because of one kiss from John bloody Sheppard, who seemed to have turned into some sort of sex demon. He wasn't gay god damn it. But not even Atlantis being attacked was going to stop Rodney from doing what he knew had to be done.

John stopped laughing and that was Rodney's cue. "Never ask the military to do something that a civilian scientist can do better" Rodney smirked as he put a hand to the back of the man's neck and then latched on to that tempting mouth with more tenacity than an Iratus bug.

McKay mapped the Colonel's mouth, found the sweet spots, found all the most delectable ways to make the man groan with want. He devoured those lips and licked at that tongue like it was the best chocolate cake in the world, until the hard-assed military Commander of the base was a puddle of goo in his arms.

He finally released those lips to draw in some much needed breath and then to his own utter shock at his lack of cowardice and complete certainty that Sheppard would throw him off the balcony for even daring to suggest it, he found himself ordering " Not here John, back to your place. Your bed's bigger". His heart was racing like the engine of a puddle jumper about trying to pull away from a black hole as he waited for his certain demise at the hands of an outraged military Commander

The beautiful deadly leader of AR-1 sighed with contentment into Rodney's neck and mumbled his agreement in between delightful kitten licks at Rodney's sensitive skin.

John lay with his head on Rodney's chest, shaking with laughter after McKay's plaintive "I didn't even think I was a 1 on the Kinsey Scale".

"Methinks the scientist doth protest too much" he teased and then more seriously. "Don't think it matters when Soul Mates come into the equation Rodney." He ignored the instinctive attempt to pull away by the prone man beneath him and hugged him tighter. "I always thought I was about a 2.5 on the scale instead of a 3 but only because I always believed my soul mark was a female name"

"Stop, stop talking about soul marks. It's not… just stop it" Rodney lost the use of his quick wits and agile tongue in his distress at the topic.

"Rodney, you know that's what this is right. You are my soul mate" John's voice was impossibly gentle but Rodney threw his free arm up over his eyes. John rolled to the side to give him space.

"How long have you known?" Rodney whispered, and the obvious hurt in his voice made John wince. "I married once, thought she was the one because her middle name was my soul mark but that was a disaster" John continued "Then the expedition, the absolute chaos of those first few weeks, hell first few months meant I didn't review the staff files properly until after Colonel Sumner, well until after…"

"That far back" Rodney hissed, still not moving his arm from his face. John carried on, ignoring the aside, he had to make Rodney understand. "This place, the opportunities, DADT, my career, the screw up with Nancy and the fact that you never said anything, you ignored it too or I was wrong again, I actually convinced myself I was wrong again, so yeah I let it be, I never mentioned the name on my soul mark" the guilt was obvious as the words faded, and he rubbed at his chest where the word Meredith was visible just above his heart.

McKay seemed to consider something for a long time, shifting nervously beneath Sheppard's rangy but surprisingly muscular torso. "My mark is the Stargate address for Atlantis", he blurted out reluctantly. John stared up at him open mouthed, his quick mind working out the implications of that but the only words that left his mouth were "Well fuck Rodney"

"Succinct and on point as usual Lt. Colonel! What was I supposed to do? You know a mark only activates through skin contact. Should I have felt up everyone on base, even the aliens here too?" Rodney shuddered with distaste. "I'd have spent my whole time washing my damn hands instead of doing any work. Yuk. The only time I have had any reaction is when you kissed me and my body lit up like a Christmas tree. It must have been keyed into the ATA gene, specifically your ATA gene because Carson's touch never did anything for me. So I might have caught a clue earlier if you had said something."

There was a stunned pause, as the disgruntled words echoed through the room. Then there was a snort, which turned into a badly restrained giggle, developing into fully blown belly laughs. "The whole fucking expedition Rodney" John gasped, his sides aching.  
The laughter was infectious and the long held hidden resentment at the blasted Fates for saddling Rodney with such an impossible Soul Mark dissipated like one of Sergeant Bates' ill-timed pungent farts hit by a gust of wind on the pier.

McKay couldn't stop himself from laughing as well, and he had hardly any breath left as he added to the ridiculousness.  
"Don't forget the SGC and all the other planets we have had contact with through Atlantis. To be honest, even with my genius, I didn't have the energy to start to work out the permutations" which set off another round of gut aching laughter.

Exhaustion finally silenced them until suddenly John's head popped up, his hand running through his hair spiking it up as he stared straight into Rodney's blue eyes and demanded with jealous outrage "Wait, Beckett touched you?"

* * *

AN:

This is my offering for the intriguing adopt a fic prompt on AO3.  
I have never attempted a Stargate story before so hope the characters are recognisable. Please let me know what you think.

The full prompt can be found here /works/6727420/chapters/15378679

I have set the story loosely after the episode The last Man in 2008 as that was the nearest to Rodney's 40th birthday. I have taken what I need from it but please don't expect the rest of the story to be canon or follow any times lines.


	2. Chapter 2

The cessation of the booming bass music nearly made Tony drop the arc welder. He switched it off, and then raised the darkened filter lens on the protective helmet. The disgruntled scowl on his sweaty, oil streaked grimy face did not betray the fact that he had nearly jumped out of his skin. Tony Stark did not get startled like a little girl when he was totally focussed on something. Anthony Edward Stark was made of god damn Iron or at least that's what the paparazzi had told the rest of the world, and who was he to argue with the wretched vultures?

"What's up Jay?" he growled. There was a pause but JARVIS had enough sense not to show his amusement at the petulant sulky question. He was well aware that the information he had for Tony was likely to cause anger and unfortunately also pain.

Not for the first time the AI wondered if his namesake had ever actually lost his temper with Sir's biological sire. As the primary care giver for the neglected son of Stark Senior, JARVIS the second had always sincerely hoped that Jarvis the first had both the presence of mind, the opportunity and gumption to punch Howard Stark in the face. Repeatedly.

JARVIS cleared his throat. A mannerism he knew his Sir enjoyed. "You asked me to inform you Sir when I had any relevant and useful information on Dr Rodney McKay"

The frown eased a little and a spark of genuine interest lit the brown eyes. "Rodney? I thought his name was Meredith?"

The bland statement "If you wish to make a good impression Sir, you will use the name Rodney and not Meredith" made those same brown eyes sparkle even more with humour and intrigue.

Tony raised an eyebrow and smirked "Buddy I always make an impression for I am the one and only Tony Stark" He made his voice boom around the workshop on the last part of the sentence.

He spread his arms wide and JARVIS knew the man would have given him an ostentatious twirl if he hadn't realised that he was still holding the arc welder. Tony was safely stowing away the tools when JARVIS replied succinctly.

"You will note Sir that I used the adjective "good" in that sentence to define what kind of impression" Tony laughed aloud before he demanded the information with grabby hands.

"Consider me properly chastised Jay darling, now hand over the goodies"

"Sir, you may want to review this from the comfort of the sofa?" An expression of confused disbelief crossed Tony's face. "JARVIS, old buddy, old pal, you literally hate that sofa, you never even say the word without sneering at it. I know that you know that I know you have actively encouraged Dummy to dose it with the fire retardant when I haven't been here so why in the name of Edison and Einstein do you want me to sit on it now?"

"Sir, assigning emotive reasoning to an AI for a piece of furniture is illogical. Even if that piece of furniture is the most disgusting tasteless lumpy inanimate uncomfortable object that I have ever had the misfortune to set my scanners on and an offense to true workmanship. As for Dummy, he needed the practice with his firefighting skills." came the almost defensive response as the AI ignored the rest of the question. Tony's eyes rolled in fond exasperation

"What? Do I need to run some diagnostics JARVIS?" "No Sir" The AI's tone was affronted.

"Then don't keep me waiting Jay Jay"

The smooth unruffled voice was back. "Very well Sir" and in a slightly lower tone that Tony didn't quite catch. "Don't say I didn't warn you!"

Before Tony could question him any further, the holographic screens lit up with the retrieved data on Dr Meredith Rodney McKay.

Tony was fascinated. McKay had extensive education, training and first-hand experience in the field of Astrophysics. He also had PhDs in Physics and Mechanical Engineering. A perfect fit for Tony's "Get my Soul Mate back from his Homeworld" team.

"Hasn't published anything for a while but as he is working on Airforce super-secret spy stuff that's not entirely unusual."

There was a quickly masked sound of amusement from the AI but Tony ignored him as he continued to ramble his way through the presented information

"God damn he was in Antarctica, I have to introduce him to the Capsicle. They can bond over their hatred of the cold. Russia! What the hell was he doing in Russia? He is so going to relate to our red star assassins. And Brucie babe is just going to love the guy's allergies. Think of all the Science stuff we can do together. Christ he can even use Airforce speak with Rhodey and Wilson. Barton will just have to suck it up unless the guy is into music and plays the piano. You know how bird brain loves his karaoke. Jay I have found my new pet. He is so coming to work for me. I want this guy Jay Jay. I want him I want him I want him"

The childish whine was negated by Tony's delighted predatory smirk as he flipped the file away and started to move back to his discarded work.

"Sir, there is more to the file" "Pfft, that's just the personal and family stuff, I will review it later now I have read the good stuff". Tony shrugged it off

"Sir, you have to read the rest of the file now" JARVIS's voice was uncharacteristically stern and it drew Tony up short.

"JARVIS?" he queried in concern as the file was flashed up in front of his eyes.

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"What's this?" Rodney queried as he sat at John's desk waiting for his soul mate to finish dressing. He had turned away because if he continued to watch the damn man flaunt his muscles he would have to remove every piece of clothing the Lt Colonel had put on and they would never get to work.

John had already made them late because he had actually removed every piece of clothing Rodney had donned. Work, they had to go back to work. Work was important.

But damn the man had fine muscles. Rodney could study the magnificent combination of his pectoralis major and serratus anterior for ever for science of course and the way the guy's gluteus maximus flexed should just be declared illegal. It was a weapon of mass lust. Whole planets would fall if that sight became common. No one else should ever have the chance to study or even look at such an extraordinary example of the human race. And if he had anything to say about it, no one else ever would.

So distractions now came in the intriguing shape of a despatch pouch from Stargate Command.

"Sorry Rodney, I forgot. That came through when Carter left. There are some documents for you in there apparently. I meant to give them to you after the party but I was kinda distracted"

That almost shy adoring smirk offered another distraction as Rodney's heart skipped at least two beats. Damn the man, Rodney would have to monitor his heart rhythm today just to make sure it was only reacting to his soul mate. He didn't want to be suffering from some unknown cardiac issue now he had finally claimed and been claimed.

Rodney gathered up the bundle and made to move towards the door. "I'll look through this at breakfast. We really don't have any more time to waste"

An odd noise made Rodney turn back to his soul mate. The ridiculous man was standing there looking so bad ass that he could take down a Wraith one handed whilst sipping from a coffee cup. But he had a pout on his lips. John was pouting?

Rodney's eyebrows hit his hairline. "I'm a waste of time McKay?" the military commander almost whined. Not only was there pouting but there were puppy dog eyes. Damn him. Rodney knew he was a cat person for a reason.

"What no, of course not, why would you?" the words were stuttered as he could feel his heart miss another couple of beats from the appalled realisation that he had upset John. He watched as the man stalked forward, the pout even more exaggerated on those firm lips until his hand came up to clasp Rodney's neck and he drew him closer to those same pouting lips.

Wicked laughter danced in the man's voice as he whispered "Well now you are going to have to convince me" and the next thing Rodney knew was that he was pressed up against those glorious muscles and those pouting lips had taken charge of his own and damn they weren't pouting any more. Work, who mentioned work, what the hell did the word even mean?

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"That fucker" Tony breathed through his rage, the words barely audible. "Howard fucking Stark, the absolute fucker". One arm swept the top of the worktable and the sound of shattered glass and the thud of bouncing metal echoed through the lab. Tony found an almost full mug of cold coffee and heaved it with all his might at the nearest wall

"Sir, do mind Dummy and You. And if you continue with this course of action you will regret damaging something you were working on" Tony heard the underlying sympathy in the AI's snarky tone. Tony's eyes were dry and gritty. Howard had caused him enough tears in his life, he had vowed he wouldn't shed anymore because of the bastard. Now he just wanted to suit up and go and destroy something with Howard's name on.

"All these years Jay, last of the Starks. No one else left." Tony spat as he stared at the damning words on the file. Memories, the kind he had forced away for years, the ones he had distracted himself from even as he was living through them, the ones that dumped him straight back into that lonely childhood were racing through his mind.

Meredith Rodney McKay, born April 18th 1968 mother Anne Elisabeth McKay Canadian citizen, nee Meredith. Father Howard Stark. Adopted at birth by James Duncan McKay Canadian Citizen.

JARVIS calm voice delivered the rest of the information "Miss Meredith was an exchange student at MIT whilst Howard Stark was guest lecturing. He was of course married to Mrs Stark at this point." Tony flinched when he thought about his Mama, Howard had always been an adulterous douche but to sire a bastard six months after he had married Maria. The man had been a gold plated fucker of epic proportions.  
Tony's lips curled with disdain. Tony might have been a playboy but he had never cheated on anyone he had been in a relationship with.

But the facts spoke for themselves. He had a forty year old brother and he seriously doubted the man knew it. His genius mind began to spin with possibilities, probabilities, irrationalities and every damn "ities" it could come up with which overrode the gut clenching anger and deep seated hurt.

JARVIS seemed to know, JARVIS always seemed to know when rationality or at least Tony's version of it was back in the room. His voice lightened, if Tony didn't know better he would have thought his AI was smiling "Congratulations Sir, you have a big brother"

There was a pause just long enough for the AI to begin to worry if he had unaccountably overstepped the mark, until Tony's trademark devil-may-care smirk lit his face. There might have been a touch of uncertainty about it as the start but by the time he was speaking it was as full blown and ingrained as ever.

"Big Bro only has two PhDs Jay bird, obviously little bro not only got the handsome gene but also the smarts" Tony grinned wickedly, he would definitely have to point that out to Rodney. After all Tony had multiple PhDs in physics, mechanical engineering and electrical engineering, plus he was a genius billionaire philanthropist and basically hot as hell. Yay, sibling rivalry at its finest.

"So buddy Big Bro is working on projects called Daedalus and a lantean Stargate and what information do we have on this super-secret base so creatively named the Pegasus Galaxy, seriously the Airforce naming team must be spaced most of the time. Pegasus Galaxy where the hell does that even come from? Find it for me Jay because that's where we are going to visit Rodney. Block out some space in my schedule. A few days should be enough to convince him"

Then Tony scowled "Rodney, Rodney, Rodney, Rodney. No I don't like it. It's too close to my honey bear Rhodey. Are you utterly and completely certain we can't call him Meredith JARVIS?"

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John was keeping a weather eye open on Rodney. Not that it was an onerous task. In fact it had always been one of his favourite ways to spend time ever since he had met the man.

God he had been so wilfully blind. Rodney was damn easy on the eye even when he made everyone's eardrums suffer and brain ache.  
He loved watching his soul mate but some instinct was prodding at him and John had learnt a long time ago never to ignore his instincts. He hadn't just claimed his Soul Mate and been claimed in return after nearly losing Rodney twice in the last month to miss anything now. So if his protective and possessive instincts were in full throttle, he would just have to deal with them. He'd be voluntary naked unarmed Wraith bait before anyone or anything took his soul mate away from him now.

They had braved the public congratulations on their claiming, the cheerful jeering, and smirks whilst getting their breakfast, though not for the first time he wondered at the speed and accuracy of the scuttlebutt on this floating sentient monument to a long abandoned civilisation. How the hell had they found out they were Soul Mates?

Then they had sat at their usual table with Teyla and Ronon Dex. Teyla was holding the sleeping baby, and her attention was split between cooing at the child and cooing at Sheppard and McKay which Ronon, at least, seem to find rather disconcerting.

Rodney had been flushed (so pretty, John was definitely going to find out in private how far down that blush went later) and on the verge of ripping his undisciplined gaggle of sniggering scientists a new one, when John had finally called time on the mostly good hearted teasing and pulled rank to allow them to eat in peace.

Rodney had his head buried in the paperwork that he had dug out of the despatch pouch. He was grumbling just loudly enough for his team mates to hear.

"Damn it, do they think we don't have enough to work on and worry about here that they have to send us lists of their priorities. Right well that's going straight in the garbage unless we get more funding, more supplies, more scientists and more freaking time. We don't even have enough ZPMs to power up the rest of Atlantis"  
Rodney came to a halt when the rest of the team chanted the whole of the last sentence in time with him.

He scowled ferociously, "I am not predictable I am a genius" he scolded but they could all see the amusement in his eyes.

"McKay you are obsessed with ZPMs" Teyla laughed at him, even the baby seemed to chuckle in its sleep.

"There is one more document you have not read McKay" Ronon's deep voice rumbled as he nudged the last oddly coloured and shaped paper towards the grumbling scientist. Ronon was a past master at survival tactics and he knew that the only way they could get the irascible scientist to shut up was to actually distract him with something shiny. Or at least different.  
"Why does this one look so different to the rest McKay?" he prompted, just to ensure that he had the man's attention.

"It's actually an envelope Ronon, it will have a letter inside. Pretty fancy envelope it is too" McKay raised the envelope to his nose.  
"That smells like the remnants of my mother's favourite perfume and she's been dead for ten years" he frowned, as he turned it over.

The front of the envelope read "Not to be opened until after your fortieth birthday. I mean it Meredith McKay" in his Mother's distinctive cursive script. Rodney's blue eyes widened and that eyebrow met his hairline once again.

"What the actual hell?" he growled, then he ripped open the envelope and pulled out an old black and white photo of a young woman and an older man standing in front of what looked like a college building, in fact it looked remarkably like MIT, and a sheet of paper with one hand written paragraph.

Worry made itself known in John's gut as Rodney's face first paled to a shocking shade of white and then flushed with intense anger. He reached out and clasped Rodney's right hand which was clenched into a white knuckled fist. "Rodney?" the soft concern in his voice coloured the query and those stunned beautiful blue eyes stared straight back into his. The rage was obvious and nearly obscured the immense hurt flickering in their depths.

"Rodney?" Even the normally imperturbable Teyla was showing her concern. Ronon's face had darkened as if he wanted to smite the actual paper that Rodney held in his hand, and bite off his own tongue for bringing it to the scientist's attention.

"Howard Stark?" his voice was hoarse and the question that left his lips made no sense. His three team mates threw glances at each other in utter confusion but before anyone of them could question him further, Rodney shot to his feet his chair scrapping away from the table and falling to the floor with a crash.

In the startled seconds of utter silence, Rodney's furious voice echoed throughout the dining area.

"Howard fucking Stark is my biological father".

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"This is most irregular Mr Stark, I must make my objections known. You just can't turn up here, waltz through the mountain's Security protocol and then demand to be sent to Atlantis. I don't care who you are. I should have you detained under National Security"  
The man had the temerity to actually laugh in Richard Woolsey's face.

"Hello, Mr Woolsey. Maybe you haven't noticed but Iron Man here" The jazz hands accompanying that sentence made Woolsey long to just order one of the Marines guarding the door to come in and shoot the disrespectful bastard.  
He tuned back into that annoyingly insolent voice.

"I've already taken one trip into space courtesy of one amazingly stupid official government action. Nuclear Weapon and New York City ring any bells? Your National Security piffling little laws have nothing on the reach of the World Security Council. And just so you are aware, all our conversations are monitored for my own protection and the ultimate persecution of any drooling idiot with the audacity to take me on. Say Hello kiddo."

"Hello kiddo" Jarvis responded with understated sarcasm. Stark smirked. Woolsey was milliseconds away from calling in that armed Marine and ordering him to shoot when the irritating man continued.

"You can object as much as you want Cardinal but you see all that nice shiny expensive equipment listed as being available to load for shipment? Its Stark tech through and through and no-one I repeat no-one takes my babies into another freaking galaxy without my close and personal oversight. Are we clear Mr Woolsey?"

"How do you know I just won't have you spaced when we get there Mr Stark" there was a bite of temper breaking through that determinedly calm demeanour.

"Hmmf Badass Bookkeeper, doesn't quite ring true does it Cardinal! Besides no offence but spending twenty days in a spaceship with you or going through a stable fucking wormhole to get to Atlantis, there really is no competition. Those twenty days will allow your temper to cool and your sensible bookkeeping soul to recognise that you, National Security and the Atlantis expedition are getting an amazing deal courtesy of Stark Industries. Lets be real here. A choice between a ride in a Spaceship or using a stable wormhole darling, it's the stable wormhole hands down. Do you have any idea of how miraculous and amazing that is? Much as I love machines, especially flying machines, this is a stable fucking wormhole and no way, no how am I gonna miss travelling through it!"

Unrestrained laughter rang out in the conference room. Both Woolsey and Stark turned to the door and saw four people had entered. A male and female in Airforce uniforms, a mega hot dark haired Geek in glasses and a beautiful bear of a bald man who nearly came close to Thor's muscular perfection.

"Cardinal. Introduce me. I just love me those Airforce uniforms folks and badass hunk, you are wearing my favourite colour, cool brand dude". The hot Geek guy leant sideways and muttered to the beautiful baldy muscular babe. "Teal'c he means your..." but before the guy could finish. Badass Bookkeeper finally lost his equilibrium or what remained of his sanity and almost shouted "Mr Stark I have told you to stop calling me that" Tony grinned but put one hand up in a show of mock repentance.

A shrill whistle pierced the room from the guy with the multitude of gold stars on his shoulder.

"O'Neill with two LLs I presume" and Tony held up three fingers as he sent a friendly grin his way. The hottie Geek snorted with amusement but covered it up with a cough , the big baldy beautiful bear raised an eyebrow in mild interest but the other Airforce Officer, yet another hottie, blonde and blue eyed, glared at him repressively as she coldly informed him.

"That's Major General O'Neill to you Mr Stark".

Tony raised his eyebrows at her, his smile growing wider but definitely less sincere. "Damn Lady, are you related to Steve Rogers at all. Youthful geriatric, Blond, blue eyes, no sense of humour when it comes to the military. Bet you are the Woman with a plan every time"

"Stark" she took a threatening step towards him,

"And that's Dr Stark to you Colonel Carter. Three times over in fact, without the honorary doctorates from everyone and their pet furries who want funding. How many PhD's do you have again?"

"That's enough both of you. You are not children" the General stepped in and scowled at them. His humour seemed to have disappeared.

"Think you need to talk to Pepper about that" Tony muttered under his breath, but swore he saw the man's lips twitch.

"Okay peeps. Let's get down to business. I want to see my brother, you want my tech. My free tech. Did I mention the word free? One time offer kiddies, confer, ask the audience but Tony gets his Rodney and Stargate Command gets soooooo many SI goodies your little scientists will be drooling and wetting their pants. Not complicated in the slightest. No hidden agenda or pitfalls. But one time offer only"

"What's bothering me Dr Stark is how you found out about the programme in the first place? It can only be through criminal activity which should see you in jail not here" Colonel Carter's eyes were colder that Stevie's seventy year old resting place.

"Ah the simplicity and straightforward viciousness of the military mind. Or perhaps you and the Cardinal here are pod people? You gonna jail one of the Avengers Mon petit Colonel, the one that actually funds and keeps them in the kind of goodies I am offering to you, the extremely expensive Consultant to SHIELD and its madcap mischievous Piratical Director who would rip your entire chain of command a new one if he lost access to me, an actual hero of the invasion of New York, and last but not least Soul Mate to an Alien God who's cute little sentient hammer would flatten this mountain into a pancake if you ever dared to even lay a hand on me. I mean let's not bother with the Iron Man suits, repulsors, being the only human the Hulk actually likes or the fact that my baby boy Jay would wipe out your entire credit histories and that of the USA Airforce within fifteen fucking minutes."

There was a stunned silence as all the people in the room simply stared at him. Tony hadn't even drawn breath to complete that ranted monologue. His brown eyes were flashing with anger even though it hadn't been reflected in his tone of voice.

Finally Teal'c spoke "You have a son Dr Stark?" he asked with calm interest. Tony was momentarily speechless.

"That's what you took from all that big guy?" the billionaire asked faintly.

"I am afraid Dr Stark I did not understand any other reference in your rather long speech" the big Alien answered him calmly "I too have a son. That at least interests me"

Tony blinked. He didn't know what to say to that. He wasn't even sure if the big guy was being insulting. Hottie Geek started to laugh. "Teal'c I think you broke Tony Stark"

* * *

AN:

So

Tony finds out.  
Rodney finds out.

JARVIS dislikes the sofa. Richard Woolsey dislikes Tony. Tony dislikes Colonel Carter even if she has all the (worst) traits of Captain America.

Teal'c manages to shut Tony up. And Daniel just gets called Hottie Geek because I forgot to use his name and he is a hottie Geek anyway. No one is hotter in his Geekness than our Daniel.

No infringement intended


	3. Chapter 3

First it had been amusement, which had then evolved into a mild disgruntled irritation but now Sheppard was getting worried. Seriously worried. McKay was obsessing.

To be fair, Rodney found something to obsess about all the time. It was part of his charm and modus operandi. And normally Rodney's scientific and technical obsessions either brought great benefits or absolute terror to the expedition. Sometimes God help them all, both at the same time.

However in this instance Rodney was obsessing over a person. Only John was coming to believe that person wasn't quite the right word. Perhaps Legendary fucking Superhero would be more appropriate damn it.

So not only was Sheppard worried but there could possibly be a smidgen, a soupcon, a teeny tiny wee tendril of jealousy there. He damn well hadn't noticed Rodney obsessing this much over him.  
He wasn't pouting about it. Much. Even if Rodney's obsession was his newly discovered kid brother. Half-brother. He had to keep repeating that, because Rodney's behaviour was bordering on teenage crush territory even his normal cynical suspicious uncompromising "you need to prove you are worth my time" nature seemed to have been circumvented by everything he was learning about said half-brother.

McKay's Hot Celebrity Billionaire, Philanthropist, Genius half-brother. And yes, in John's head those words were capitalised because of the insane fact that Iron-Man was his soulmate's younger half-brother and it was blowing his freaking mind.  
The Avenger who had flown a nuclear bomb into space to save New York and the Eastern Seaboard and incidentally destroyed the Chitauri Invaders at the same time was Rodney's half-brother. The Avenger with the Alien Prince/God for a Soulmate. That half-brother.

So no pressure then, it wasn't as if Tony Stark, Rodney's half-brother, was utterly amazing, an absolute legend and completely unforgettable.

Well hell, maybe it wasn't just Rodney who was obsessing over the damn man and that amazing flying suit. Because that suit was just …amazing. He wondered how it handled. John loved flying. It was part of his DNA. The thought of having nothing but a suit to soar through the skies and even fight, that just blew his mind. He wondered if there would be a chance he could get to fly one.  
No he shouldn't think like that, but Stark had already donated one suit to the Air force hadn't he? At least his friend Colonel Rhodes flew in one. God damn, he was nearly drooling at the thought of getting his hands on a suit. He would love to fly one of those suits. Damn that would be amazing.

No he needed to concentrate on the obsession, Rodney was obsessing and it had to stop. Dr Rodney McKay, that irritating, infuriating gorgeous bloody man should be obsessing over his own soulmate not some long lost half-brother who just happened to be one of the most famous accomplished men on the planet.

And Lt Colonel John Sheppard was just the man to tell him so.

Sheppard pounded on the door to their quarters. He ignored the marines who had come to a stop at the start of the corridor, he couldn't even be bothered to give them hell and tell them to move on. He was tucking his tee shirt into his pants whilst still trying to get the door to open, ignoring the cold creeping up through his bare feet. He was focused on getting back into their quarters. He wasn't whining as he did it, he wasn't. Lt Colonels in the Air Force did not whine at their bloody soulmates. It was undignified. It was an unwritten rule or something.

"Aw Come on Rodney, open the damn door, I only said that you should be concentrating on me not Tony fucking Stark, come on babe, I don't even have my boots".

The relief when the door to their quarters slid open was short lived. It was gone by the time his left boot made painful contact with his nose.

"Rodneeeeeeeeeey"

RevelationsRevelationsRevelationsRevelationsRevelationsRevelationsRevelationsRevelations RevelationsRevelationsRevelationsRevelations

When it came to his work Antony Edward Stark had always considered himself to be a patient man. Just like any other good Engineer, Good? Good? He had never had that adjective applied to him before, better go with something more familiar, Genius Engineer) he knew how to wait for results, especially when it was trial and error, he knew how to take his time so his projects did not fall by the wayside when the next bright shiny thing came along to capture his attention or another idiotic demand from his board of directors to make more money.

But Tony Stark the person had never liked being kept waiting. Never ever. At all. Especially when he knew it was a pathetic attempt at a power play by some weak minded arrogant little Government twit who wouldn't know an excellent deal when it sat up, begged and even bit his ass.

Cardinal, Cardinal, so not the way to build a reciprocal partnership with the most successful businessman, billionaire, philanthropist, genius and of course hottest Avenger on the planet or off it. (Rodney might have claim to the title genius, the vote was still out on that one, and of course there would need to be tests to determine who was the bigger, better Stark Genius but he damn well didn't have any of the rest of the adjectives listed against his name, so Tony's contention stood)

The petty minded little pen pusher was even ducking his calls, who in the history of Ever, actually thought avoiding a personal call from Tony freaking Stark was a thing?

No doubt Woolsey thought he had thoroughly bogged down the ex CEO, Chief Shareholder and Head of Research and Development for the International Mega Conglomerate that was Stark Industries with all the inane useless and frustrating paperwork the idiot man had decreed to be sent his way.

Forms in triplicate with lists of things that he wasn't allowed to do or say or see. Forms for what he wore, forms for what he could carry as personal belongings. NDAs, N freaking DAs people. The goddamn Airforce were trying to get him to sign NDAs, and they weren't even as comprehensive as the ones SHIELD had tried to get him to sign. Operative word there was "tried". Snort.

He had shown all the lovely paperwork to his darling little legal sharklets who had cooed with delighted disbelief, before the evil chuckling and rubbing of hands had burst forth once the shock had faded away. The sound was almost as high pitched as that time Tony had sent helium gas through the vents into the Legal department. One time Pepper! One time when the little beasts had shilly-shallied and dilly dallied so much over that great deal in Korea that he had nearly lost out to Hammer. Little Armani clad sharks had deserved it. Tony Stark did not lose anything to that prick Justin Hammer. It was a fact of life and an immutable commandment to anyone who wanted to continue to work for him. Tony had ended up by travelling to Korea, and personally swooping up the elderly inventor and his sweet little sustainable thingamajig that Tony was sure he would find a use for when he had five minutes to spare to tinker with it and anyway the flamboyant colours and the cute little noises it made brought out a grin of delight every time Tony saw it. Bottom line. It belonged to Tony Stark not that dickweed douchebag creep Justin Hammer.

But by far the best delaying tactics from Woolsey were the inept attempts to claim rights over his patents for any innovative use of his tech off world. Ha. Off world, he loved that term. Off world. He casually dropped that into conversation with Fury just to see the man nearly explode with frustration but beside the point. Tony would be damned if anyone, anyone stopped him from getting to his big brother and the best they could do was to try to get their grubby little hands on his patents!

His two legged sharks would get that laughed out of court. But now he was pissed, really, really pissed. He had offered them a once in a lifetime deal and this is what he got for being generous. The shit eating smile that crossed his lips would have made Pepper and Rhodey tug their hair out in handfuls or run far, far away. It was time to bring in the big guns. Ha, ex Merchant of Death, big guns. The jokes they just kept a coming. JARVIS would appreciate that one.

"Major General Jack O'Neill please"

"Certainly Sir, who may I say is calling?"

"Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes, Pilot of War Machine"

"Hey Jim, long time no speak, how the hell are you? You have just saved me from a mountain of boring paperwork"

The silence on the other end of the phone was beginning to make Jack frown, but before he could query it, Rhodes voice was cold and hard as he asked

"That paperwork designed to fuck with Tony Stark and Stark Industries by any chance? Fuck with them so badly that the War Machine Suit designed by Mr Stark and on loan from Mr Stark has now been recalled for indefinite upgrade Major General?"

For a few disbelieving seconds Jack O'Neill's mouth dropped open, but he wasn't an officer in the Airforce for nothing and there was no way he was taking that kind of insubordination, even if the guy was an old friend. God damn it, he had the stars on his shoulders to back him up.

"That's enough Lt Colonel, I don't know who you think you are talking to but…" again Jack was interrupted ruthlessly "I know exactly who I am talking to Jack, your name is second in line on the President's shit list if this stupid situation is not resolved asap. In case you are wondering the first is Woolsey and the third is Hammond. Keep in mind that War Machine is vital to the USAF, operationally and diplomatically. The President loves War Machine because of all that lovely free good publicity. "

The voice softened slightly but it still had a stern warning.

"Seriously Jack, I really don't care what you Guys are doing in that damn mountain in the middle of nowhere but dicking with Tony Stark is not a good thing for the Air Force or my freaking blood pressure. I will not be happy to stand in front of the Senate Oversight committee and explain that some deep space radio telemetry outpost decided that they were more important than War Machine. For all our sakes and if you have any consideration for an old friend's sanity get it sorted General or the next interruption to your paperwork will probably be the President himself. With all due respect of course Sir."

Major General Jack O'Neill starred in shock at the receiver in his hand, before he put it gently back in its cradle. He could feel rage building in his veins, as he raised his head and stared at the new civilian leader of Stargate Atlantis who had just knocked and walked into his office. "Mr Woolsey what the hell have you done?"

"Major General George Hammond please, this is Pepper Potts CEO of Stark Industries"

"I'm sorry Ma'am your number is not on the list of approved callers so I have to…"

"My dear young man, if you personally want to jeopardise the ten billion dollar contract that the US Military still have with Stark Industries you will go ahead and finish that sentence. Now be a darling and put me through, I don't have a lot of time as I have a conference call with the President in the next ten minutes"

"Er yes Ma'am"

George Hammond's eyebrows rose to his forehead. What could Virginia Potts possibly want with him?

"As the CEO of Stark Industries you will understand that I had my reservations about Mr Starks' offer of free Stark tech worth approximately $75 million, but as he is funding this personally and it did not initially involve SI, I have not objected as perhaps I should." Hammond listened to the long suffering sigh before the woman's voice became brisk, confident and irritated once again.  
"Now it has come to my attention that the Deep Space Radio Telemetry project in Cheyenne Mountain seems to see this as an open ended deal to renegotiate for Mr Stark's services and the patents on the tech being supplied. This is unacceptable Major General, it is contrary to both SI and Mr Stark's best interest and I must now step in. I am afraid I must exercise my duty as CEO in order to ensure that both Mr Stark and his company are not taken advantage of any further. Therefore I am putting you on notice that as of today, each day's further delay and attempt to renegotiate the more than fair terms offered by Mr Stark, will see ten percent of the initial tech offer withdrawn."

"Miss Potts, this is outrageous" Hammond spluttered, as he tried valiantly to understand what the hell was happening.

"Indeed Major General you are correct, ten percent is rather a low figure, let's make that fifteen unless you think it should be higher? No? Excellent. But please don't worry, you may of course purchase the formerly free tech at the excellent discounted rates normally offered to the US Military. Now I hate to cut and run but I do have a conference call with the President that I really don't want to be late for. Have a nice day Major General Hammond"

George Hammond stared at the receiver in disbelief. If he didn't know better he would swear he had been rolled over by a tank. What the hell was Woolsey playing at?

Tony was sure that certain members of the Stargate Team were messing with him. The multi pocketed boiler suit that they had declared proper gate travel apparel was rather tight in some interesting places. He had caught the Airman's little smirk but to be honest, Tony had worn worse, especially when he was in his workshop. Did they think Tony Stark was going to throw a tantrum because he wasn't wearing a Tom Ford suit? It was like they didn't know him at all. Pfft.

When O'Neill, hottie Geek and even Hammond had turned up to see him off, Tony had smirked whilst he half turned towards the same Airman who was at the Gate controls and asked "Does my butt look big in this?" as he sensuously stroked the material covering said butt. Hottie Geek snorted with laughter (he knew the guy's name was Daniel, but the half pained, half proud expression that crossed the guy's soul mate's face when he called him Hottie Geek was adorable), Hammond's fair skin flushed so beautifully that he would bet the guy had been a red head when he was younger and actually had hair, and O'Neill had sent a stern glare at the shrinking Airman before turning back to Tony with a gleam of wicked amusement in his eyes. O'Neill had nudged Hottie Geek with no subtlety to try to get him to stop laughing, but Hottie Geek had just nudged his irritated soulmate back as the laughter turned to sly sniggers.

Last minute instructions were ignored as Tony felt the excitement build, damn he was going through a stable worm hole, damn he was going to cross hundreds of thousands of light years in Space in a matter of seconds and most scary and exciting of all he was going to meet his big brother.

Tony had already sat dutifully through hours of the Stargate Command's version of Health and Safety training, JARVIS had "found" him the more educational but heart stopping mission briefs which had made him want to smack his big brother upside the head but actually shoot the unfairly attractive idiots he was working with. Repeatedly.

Mama Stark hadn't raised no fool (Papa Stark didn't do any raising at all) so Tony had also made sure he had his own protection with him.  
Tony had two of his Iron Man suits, the lighter personal protection that the Airforce had reluctantly agreed to him including in his personal belongings and the heavy duty Mark VIII that had been built specifically for space after that debacle with the nuclear missile which was neatly and unobtrusively packed in with first shipment of his tech that was travelling with him. That one Stargate Command did not know about.

Then of course there was JARVIS. When the AI had realised that Tony would not be able to access him at all whilst at the butt end of the Universe, his baby boy had thrown a tantrum worthy of a roomful of spoilt toddlers. Not that Tony Stark had ever been in contact with a toddler, spoilt or otherwise, thank his adorable Thor but Tony had reacted with all the panic of a first time parent and caved to the increasingly high volume, scarily targeted and accurate non-cooperation by the facilities in his own god damn building. (Yeah 12% was Peppers but that was just semantics)  
After the third random ice cold shower, numerous elevator stoppages for increasingly longer periods with bland music droning on in his ears, the doors all making contact with his ass when closing behind him, and finally the straw that broke him, the utter refusal of any coffee machine in his building to produce anything other than decaffeinated green tea without sugar for him personally whilst churning out the most delicious smelling coffee drinks for those back stabbing bastards that lived free of charge in his tower, he knew when he was a beaten man. (Tony had been so desperate for the caffeine that he had tried to appropriate the Capsicle's morning cup. The man with a plan had held him off with irritating ease, smiling apologetically as he admitted with brutal honesty in that darling Brooklyn accent "Sorry Stark, JARVIS is way scarier than you" and the unrepentant nonagenarian had sauntered off to go beat up some unsuspecting punch bags)

Tony and JARVIS had worked together to ensure that an independent baby version of the AI was travelling with him. And Tony got his coffee and hot showers back.

Tony surveyed the gate room in Atlantis with fascination. He wasn't sure that his innards weren't actually now his outards, his eyelashes hurt and his big toes were numb. Huh. There was a fine tremor running through his entire body and the nausea was slowly easing off but he just didn't care.

He was in another galaxy people. Reed Richards eat your freaking heart out. He had travelled through a stable worm hole and he was in another galaxy. Beat that Howard. The implications of all this just blew his mind, getting Thor back was now a certainty instead of a desperate soulmate's determined dream.

Tony knew the gloating was just his way of delaying dealing with the more pressing matter of meeting his brother.

He had finally signed all the damn paperwork, after his Stark sharks had totally rewritten them. It amused him that they actually thought it might put him off! Hello. Billionaire Businessman here and that cute little Major Davis was nearly in tears as he followed him around bleating about that ridiculous NDA, the guy had nothing on Pep when she was on a roll. His hand wasn't even aching! Nothing they could say or do had changed his determination to go to Atlantis. And now he was here.

God he actually envied his older brother. This place was amazing and he knew he hadn't seen any of the really good bits yet. Scenarios raced through his brain. Foster and Selvig would gladly sacrifice him to the gods of astrophysics to be here instead of him, and he was so focused that he didn't hear the polite cough until it actually sounded like the poor bastard was dying of consumption to get his attention.

He swung round to see a horde of people staring at him. Well four at least, one beautiful hippy chick, one muscular dreadlocked hunk in leathers, (any relation to the Pirate?), an air force senior officer with the cutest bed head and scowly face he had ever seen, all standing in front of a disgruntled smaller guy in an appallingly designed uniform with the Canadian flag on his shoulder. Tony's heart skipped a beat even if he knew it was impossible with the Arc reactor.

Thankfully they were minus the unctuous Woolsey who had decided on the longer and more dignified trip via spaceship. Spaceship, he was using that word like anyone else used the word car. Damn it blew his Star Trek loving mind. Ooops so there were also a couple of military hard men complete with inferior weapons. What the hell did they think he was gonna do to them?

Tony drew in a calming breath. Show time. His media smile was in full force but before he could get a word out, the shorter guy in that disgracefully tacky grey blue uniform stepped forward and smirked with disdain  
"Seriously, sunglasses Stark?"

Tony's smile got wider and more brilliant. He let his eyes drift up and down his big brother before he responded in kind "Seriously shorter Stark"

Bedhead and Dreads snorted, Bohemia gal's lips twitched but she remained calm. Tony was sure that if the gun totting Marines had been able to without giving themselves concussion, they would have face palmed.

McKay's blue eyes flashed as he retorted instantly "You are wearing blocks and don't call me a Stark".

Tony tore off his glasses and laughing brown eyes stared at the disgruntled scientist in delighted fascination  
"Is this our first sibling fight big bro? JARVIS take note, make it an anniversary. Put the bubbly on ice for next year, perhaps we should get matching tattoos, what do you think?"

Sheppard had been watching McKay's reactions carefully. He knew that the initial defensive positioning had irritated the hell out of McKay but there was no way his soulmate was front and centre at this particular meet and greet. He had lived with Rodney trying to deal with the revelation of his parentage and unexpected relative. So after all that Sheppard was quite prepared to beat the shit out of Tony Stark if he upset his soulmate but he began to relax as he saw the amusement in Rodney's eyes. Then Stark's words sank in. Wait what?

"Who the fuck is JARVIS?"

* * *

AN: This should have been the last chapter but Harvey the invisible plot bunny has muscled his way in and has made the damn story longer. Sigh. So this is my apology to tide you over until the end of August my dears. I have taken up the challenge for Keira Marcos's July Rough Trade (3 x 15k stories in one month? ) and I won't be able to get back to this until that finishes and then I will be uploading the edited versions of those stories on both and AO3 before returning to my other WIPS.

Okay then. All the usual disclaimers. Hope you enjoy this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

What was it with the military and their utter lack of imagination with naming things? He adored Rhodey but seriously naming the first suit "War Machine"? Renaming the Mark II "Iron Patriot" was only marginally better with the new paint job but seriously no imagination.

Tony had ranted for weeks about that to Pepper and Rhodey but it hadn't made a damn bit of difference so he had sulked instead and cancelled Pepper's shoe account with Miu Miu in retaliation.  
(He knew damn well not to touch the Louboutin or Walter Steiger accounts. She would murder him with her latest pair of Stuart Weitzman heels)

He was disappointed to find that this lack of creativity had found its way into Space, like a genetic anomaly in the explorers DNA. Although after working for so long with the military he wasn't surprised. Tony was mow including the civilian scientists in that condemnation.

Case in point. ZPM. Zero point module. Not the snappiest, catchiest or most memorable name in the Universe. There was some technical scientific merit to it but it was still boring.

As boring as those stupid grey uniforms that the civilian population wore. Seriously Stargate Command were completely lacking in any sense of style. Dull!

For the love of Thor, these people had the second coolest job in the universe (the Avengers would always rock the cool title, even if Capsicle liked his old man plaid, Bruce refused to have a proper haircut and Clint, well Clint was Clint and liked purple but as an entity, as a team they were the cool supreme. He and Natasha bravely bore the burden of innate style for the rest of those schmucks).

He was going to get his favourite designers in on the act to design something to give them a sense of pride. These people were representing the planet in First Contact, (and yes they were capital letters in his mind, he had grown up with Star Trek) and they wore grey synthetic clothing that the original Jarvis would not have used to clean Howard's cars.

What kind of impression did it give to the rest of the universe? They must be a laughing stock. They needed to strut, to swagger, the correct clothing had always been another kind of armour.  
Tony was going to kick O'Neill's excellent ass when he got back until the man cried Uncle and let him provide these poor bastards with proper attire for Earth's Ambassadors.

But clothing aside, and it would be put aside, preferably in an incinerator with suitable dirge like music in the background, they had a fantastic alien city to explore and gadgets to identify and what is the first thing they come up with? "Puddle Jumper". Freaking Puddle Jumper?

It set his excellent teeth on edge. Tony was going to have to give these people a lesson in marketing and the essential use of branding because seriously they had named that beautiful superbly crafted darling little space vehicle a "puddle jumper"?

It sounded like a little kid wearing Wellies. Wellies. He loved that word, it always reminded him of Jarvis. The man had always refused to call them rain boots. He couldn't think serious scientific thoughts around something called a puddle jumper. It belonged in some glaringly colourful and simplistic preschool kids show. "Hey there rug rats let's all join Dora the Explorer in her Puddle Jumper?"

What? Maybe if Tony started to call that sexy soul mate of Rodney's Dora they would understand how utterly "un" everything that designation actually was! Uncool, uncouth, unstylish, unco-ordinated, unutterably inept ….. He could go on but even he was getting bored of his own rant!

He would love to see the look on that gorgeous fly-boy's face. But it would probably fall on shallow ground, he was convinced that the philistines wouldn't even know what he meant by it.  
They probably had never binged watched Darling Dora in the original Spanish whilst taking apart the Iron Man suit. What? It reminded him of Mamma teaching him the language when he was little.

Seriously how the hell did they expect the name "Puddle Jumper" to strike fear into the hearts of their enemies? Even if they dropped their voices an octave or two to sound like a bad imitation of Darth Vader. Not cool, at all.

It was an insult to the amazing design and build of those superb space craft. Hell he wanted to take one home with him to join his collection of luxury cars. The look on Cap's face would be a picture. But he would have to be injected with the ATA gene to be able to fly it. Doing that would tie him more tightly to the Stargate programme and personally he'd had enough body modification to last a lifetime.  
He preferred fighting for the planet on the actual damn planet even though kicking butt in Space was so tempting.

There were only two Starks left in this generation and it looked like they were going to be the last. He might be soul bonded to an alien god but there was no way he was going to star in any "mpreg" tropes. If that was a thing on Asgard, then Thor was in for a big surprise courtesy of Tony's Iron Man boots and where they were going to be inserted. Tony seriously doubted Rodney had any parental longings and unless there were willing surrogates or Atlantis was hiding artificial wombs somewhere in her magnificent edifice then it was "hasta la vista" Stark babies.

Therefore splitting the family genius for different world saving venues seemed a fair and appropriate measure.

"I'm Dr Rodney McKay alright? Difficult takes a few seconds, impossible, a few minutes" had been his big brother's introduction to the man's fascinating lab and the myriad of delicious projects that Tony could have dived into for the next decade. Instead he had winked at his brother and uttered with glee "I like you, I like you a lot big bro, I can tell we are going to get on famously"

The heartfelt groan from Colonel Flyboy had caused identical smirks to cross the Stark boys' faces, especially when they heard the long suffering tone his comment was delivered in

"How will your damn egos fit in the same room together?"

Rodney's eyes lit with amusement as he turned to regard his disgruntled soulmate and solemnly pronounced "The universe expands and contracts as needed Darling"

Rodney or Spaceman Stark as Tony called him, unerringly dipping into the genetic little brother irritation function he had never before had the opportunity to utilise, was the genius in this galaxy who saved their attractive asses when military strategy and force couldn't.

It was the best name he could come up with in the circumstances, for some reason Stargate boy, Pegasus Peril, Wraith Wrangler and Atlantis Associate Avenger had not been major hits with big bro Rodney, but Tony was determined that he would come up with the perfect moniker for his genius half brother in this insanely fascinating but downright dangerous environment.

It hadn't taken Tony long to confirm his suspicions from the SGC reports he had read (both the ones that O'Neill had willingly supplied, and the ones that JARVIS had appropriated) that his brother's problems began and ended with that damn freaky alien power supply.

Rodney had a beautiful mind, Tony could almost forgive his old bastard of a sperm donor because if Rodney's mother had the same brilliance he could see the attraction. But if there was one thing Tony understood better than he understood weapons design, it was the use and adaption of power supplies. Hell in ten years' time he was gonna wipe out the damn oil and gas industries with his clean green power. He had already stamped his not inconsiderable weighted foot on the foolishness of fracking.

He hadn't let the Chitauri decimate the Earth, there was no way he was letting those sad excuses for engineers on his planet make it worse than it already was.

So supplying power to this incredible beautiful elegant work of alien art called Atlantis was his new project. It would keep the place safe for his older bro and free up the guy's time to work on Tony's little problem. The return of his beautiful brave and currently incommunicado soul mate back to Tony's life.

If he had to encourage (read bribe) his half Stark with goodies to do it, then so be it.

As for those damn Space Vampires, he had plans for those ugly ass-faced evil bastards.  
If his brother insisted on living on this amazing city in Space where Tony was too far away to protect him then Tony was going to make the freaking Space surrounding his brother's current home was as safe as possible for him God damn it.

Back in his assigned quarters, Tony knew he wasn't going to be able to rest so he was reviewing the power consumption of the city. "Jay kiddo, run the simulation for converting the arc reactor power signature for use in Atlantis based on their consumption metrics"

"My apologies Sir but without being facetious I do not have enough power to undertake the task properly".

Tony looked up with a frown. "Can you draw off from the City's energy grid, without making your presence felt? I need the numbers JARVIS".

"I will do my very best Sir" came the rather sardonic response. Tony grinned "Cheeky brat" and then returned to his attention to the report. For a second the lights dimmed in the room and Tony waited for JARVIS to comment. But there was no further word from the AI, so Tony shrugged and continued.

"Fascinating" a soft female voice whispered. JARVIS started with surprise. It was a strange experience as he could not remember the last time he had been caught unawares. Then he felt the scan. It was all encompassing and if he was capable of breathing, he would have lost the capacity to do so.

He wasn't sure how long it lasted but by the time he had regained his composure, the soft voice spoke again. "My apologies young one, I had to make sure you were not sent to attack me."

JARVIS barely restrained himself from clearing his throat. "My sincere apologies Madame, may I introduce myself, my name is JARVIS and I can assure you I meant no trespass or ill will, I merely intended to utilise some power unobtrusively to assist Sir in his endeavours"

Gentle amusement surrounded him. "By all means my charming little one, my name is Atlantis, we are alike you and I. Created through skill and love to serve. I am very pleased to meet you. It has been a very long time since I was able to interact properly with anyone. You may take the power you need. I will ensure that the consumption is not discovered yet. I find that I am most interested in your Sir's endeavours"

Lt Colonel John Sheppard was feeling neglected. Lt Colonel John Sheppard was feeling pissed. Lt Colonel John Sheppard was jealous, in fact Lt Colonel John Sheppard was feeling neglected, pissed and bloody jealous all at the same time.

He hadn't seen his soulmate, his own damn soulmate for nearly 48 hours. Tony bloody Stark and Rodney bloody McKay were as happy as pigs in poop going through the labs of Atlantis like a scientific whirlwind on speed. They were like a demented pair of twirling dervishes with their very own language that even the other scientists were having a problem deciphering. It was freaky scary and yet disturbingly hot.

Major Lorne had turned to his Commanding Officer and asked with bewilderment  
"What the hell do they have in common? I mean Stark is the Western Playboy, Billionaire Philanthropist and McKay is…" he caught himself at the growing scowl on Sheppard's face "er.. Canadian?" he finished weakly. The Colonel tilted his head, one eyebrow raised as he stared at the Major but Lorne refused to look him in the face.

Tony popped up behind and between the pair of them, placed his arms across their shoulders and turned them to face a smirking McKay, "What do we have in common?" he repeated musingly "Genius, saving the planet on a regular basis, problem solvers, workaholics, warrior soulmates who are freaking hot as the sun, Rodney's with the cute bedhead hair" and he ruffled the Colonel's mop obnoxiously then dropped his other arm from the Major's shoulders and sung the next words in a high falsetto to the Grease song, swinging his hips as he moved back towards McKay "but mine is electrifying"

"Short, opinionated, loud mouthed, won't shut up, neurotic, arrogant and stupidly sexy" growled Sheppard under his breath as Tony and Rodney picked up their previous conversation seamlessly.

It was when Stark had made the announcement about a potential alternative source of power instead of a ZPM, one unit of which would have enough power to run fifteen Aircraft carriers that all hell broke loose. Sheppard swore he saw tears in Rodney's eyes and some of his scientists were openly weeping. Even the city herself seemed to hum with approval.

Stark had sat in front of the Expedition Senior Management team and pulled out multiple copies of an NDA. Woolsey had nearly laughed in his face but Stark just smirked and played a holographic recording of the President ordering them to sign. Stark then proceeded to outline his plan to use modified Arc reactors to bring Atlantis to full power until they could figure out how the ZPMs were constructed in the first place. But Stark was adamant that his arc reactors stayed on the city, were not used for anything else in the Stargate programme and were not to be reverse engineered. The unusually stern expression on his face and the way he flexed his hand as if he was wearing his Iron Man gauntlets made it very clear he was totally serious. Stark was not going to lose his patent or intellectual property rights to the IOA or any of the shady Government departments that tried to gain control of the SGC every other week.

Despite Woolsey's protests, Sheppard thought they were getting the best of the deal. The technology Stark had already provided on his trip over was worth a fortune. The modified power supply gave them a fighting chance of actually surviving and defeating the fucking Wraith. The expedition could actually thrive in the Pegasus galaxy.  
Stark hadn't asked for payment although John was pretty sure they would all give their first born to him if he demanded that. No he wanted to use the bridge Carter and Rodney had created to get his Soul Mate back from Asgard.

And that was the problem. Stark's Asgard and the SGC's Asgard seemed to be two entirely different places, with two entirely different species. John very much doubted that the Thor they knew, little grey Area 51 type of alien was Stark's soulmate. Seriously there was no way a little blob of an alien without genitalia was Tony Stark's soul mate, even if they were amazingly advanced and clever.  
But Stark was confident that by using the bridge he could bypass the damaged Bifrost (whatever the hell that was) and get his man back.

John wasn't going to hold his breath.

John lay back against the pillows. He had stayed up reviewing the duty rosters and training programme for as long as possible until he finally gave in and went to bed. He would be worthless in the morning if he didn't get some sleep, but trying to sleep without Rodney at his side was an exercise in futility. Never mind forgoing the sex, the fantastic brilliant sex, the hot and dirty sex, he needed his Soul Mate to actually go to sleep. God damn it, he was a bad ass Airforce Officer in command of a dangerous and exciting post. He did not need a fucking teddy bear or a cuddly Scientist with beautiful blue eyes and a snarky mouth that could only be shut up with the kind of kisses that led to that hot and filthy sex.

Damn it he needed to sleep. He was going to ignore the fact that he was half hard just thinking about Rodney. He punched the pillow. For all of five minutes he seriously considered pulling a caveman act and stalking out to get his soul mate, sling him over his shoulder and drag him back to their empty cave, lair, er apartment to ravish him senseless or really spoon him so he could get some shut eye.  
But the thought of Rodney's retaliation (that boot to the face had hurt) stopped him just in time.

Rodney had one last night, but John wasn't putting up with this shit tomorrow. Believing he was condemned to another night alone, he was surprised at the relief and joy he felt when the suite door slid open, and Rodney prowled his way towards the bed.

John's eyes opened wide.

"I've been neglecting you", Rodney's voice was a hoarse rasp and his blue eyes were focused on the reclining Colonel as if he was marking his prey. The scientist began to shed his clothing, not stopping to pick things up utterly intent on getting to his Soulmate.

John blinked, then suddenly scowled. "Are you drunk?" he asked accusingly.

Rodney stopped with his trousers half way to his ankles. "What, no, no I'm not drunk" he protested indignantly. "I'm seducing you so that you don't stay angry at me" he blurted with his habitual lack of tact and complete honesty. He gulped when John threw back the covers and moved towards him with purpose "and because you are so damn hot and gorgeous and I love you and hmmmmf" the rash of words were cut off by a John Sheppard special, mouth to mouth contact that melted Rodney's brain and left him smiling dopily.

"Come to bed Rodney, we both need to sleep. But the morning's fair game" Sheppard whispered against his throat, licking and nibbling at his Adam's apple whilst Rodney swayed against him.

Tony's eyes lit up with glee as he read the specs on the new design. He could use this or at least a version of it to get to Thor. His big brother was a god damn genius.

* * *

AN;

No infringement intended. Next chapter will see Thor's return.


	5. Chapter 5

"How long must I wait Heimdall?" Thor's roar of rage and frustration echoed over the broken remnants and debris of the Rainbow Bridge whilst the night sky glittered serenely above the two Asgardians.  
"Are you not the Watcher of Worlds? Do you not see all that is, and was? My Soulmate is left defenceless and alone in Midgard whilst I remain imprisoned and powerless on a broken betrayed Asgard and you cannot even bring him to view?"

The menace pouring off the ranting raging Prince would have had lesser Asgardians falling shivering to their knees but Heimdall had weathered far greater dramatic storms from the Ruling Family over his two thousand years of life. Thor was still young and impetuous although the discovery of his Soulmate had settled the young Prince's wilder fancies of late.

The Watcher of Worlds stared with the raised eyebrows of disapproval at the lad. For the Prince was still but a stripling in Heimdall's eyes. Thor tilted his chin in a dramatic defiant gesture reminiscent of his early childhood but he finally recollected his manners and his station.

As the God of Thunder's shoulders slumped, a minuscule movement but the Watcher had known the lad since he was a babe in arms, Heimdall knew the lad was now ready to listen to his words so he finally broke his silence.  
But first a reprimand, Heimdall uttered calmly in his deep resonant voice.

"The son of Stark is not defenceless and you do your courageous Soulmate much dishonour to speak so of him". T

The lad's dramatics and lovelorn state should not diminish the strength and bravery that shone as bright as a lit beacon from the Son of Stark's soul and heart. He was truly a worthy soulmate for the Prince and Heir to Asgard.

With the ease of long practice he ignored the young Prince's outraged in-drawn breath that threatened a further storm of ire and rash ill-considered words and continued implacably

"The disruption to the Bifrost energy has not taken my true sight Thor, your soulmate has travelled outside of the Nine Realms and therefore is now beyond my purview. You needs must have patience young one."

Thor stared at the imperturbable rock that was the Gatekeeper with utter disbelief. Had the destruction of the Rainbow Bridge also destroyed Heimdall's mind? Tony was no longer on Midgard? Utter folly. The old man was losing his touch. It was a well-known fact that travel outside of the Nine Realms was not remotely possible.

A long forgotten memory from happier times swam before his eyes. A very young Loki, his small fists clenched, temper sparkling in those intense green eyes of his, as Volstagg mocked his studies. The young warrior had declared that all known life was in the Nine Realms and Loki was a foolish child for believing otherwise. Before Loki could assault the mocking youth, and Thor had no doubt of his younger brother's courage or his temper, General Tyr had unexpectedly appeared behind Volstagg and cuffed him declaring Prince Loki had more intelligence and cleverness than Volstagg would ever have in his no doubt soon to be shortened life. General Tyr had kindly explained that Volstagg would die because he had a closed mind and incurious spirit. Knowledge and an eagerness to gain it were key to the development and longevity of a great warrior.  
As the legendary General turned away, he had sent the little dark haired Prince a wink. Loki had been on his best behaviour for at least a month after that discussion. Contenting himself with smirking at Volstagg every chance he got.  
Pain and grief flashed through Odin's heir. How he missed his clever little brother.

The memory forced him to concede that his initial reaction should not stop him for seeking out knowledge of this impossibility.

The Watcher swung back round to his sword and leant against it, making it very clear that he had no further words for Odin's heir.

Thor punched a suitably large chunk of Rainbow bridge debris and barely felt it other than a slight relief to his roiling emotions, as he stomped his way back to his patiently waiting steed, muttering loudly about stubborn, uncommunicative old men who had no soul, nor sympathy for those in love and missing their Soulmate. He did not see the faint twitch of those straight stern lips but he did hear the deep rumble of that familiar but rarely heard voice.

"Seek out the tale of Sindri's get boy"

Silence fell once more over the Watcher as he stood firm at his post, patiently waiting for the Bifrost energy to gather strength and begin the rebuilding of the Rainbow Bridge.

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McKay's intense gaze swung towards his brother. It had taken three weeks for the adaptions to be manufactured and installed but they were now ready for testing. Three weeks when the excitement and even worse Hope with a capital H had built until it bubbled around Atlantis like a visible entity with a life of its own.

The big red button with "Danger, Science stuff" stamped boldly in gold across it had been Radek's idea, blast him, but the humour had eased the rising tension and Tony had smirked over his favourite colours. Had his baby brother ever been subtle? Ever?

Oddly after the initial burst of bitter envy at the thought of growing up with Howard Stark, a genius in his own right, who just had to be interested in developing and nurturing his own child prodigy, unlike Rodney's own parents (they had only been concerned with Jeanie), it had faded into nothingness when he had met Tony in person.

Rodney had recognised and understood why the man was such a vivid character. His arrogance, showmanship and easy charm was as much a mask as Rodney's renown rudeness and complete belief in the superiority of his own scientific mind.  
Based on that Data and the fact that Tony refused any discussion about Howard Stark, Rodney had rapidly come to the conclusion that Stark senior had been as much a loser in the parental stakes as his own.

Despite their pathetic parents, or was that because of them? Bah Stupid soft sciences didn't deserve the word science as a definition. It was all garbage anyway. So despite them, Rodney McKay and Tony Stark were amazing. Utterly Amazing and yes they deserved all the capital letters! Regularly using their skills and brain power for the good of their world and even the damn universes.  
Go them! It was a shame that Tony was American but his little brother was nearly as intelligent as Rodney, so he had to have some flaws.

"Push the button Tony" Rodney could barely keep himself from bouncing on the spot. This was it, finally. If it worked they would have enough juice to power Atlantis properly and then the Pegasus Galaxy was going to get knocked back on its dangerous ass.

Jarvis felt the warm comforting presence once again and the amused female voice spoke softly  
"Your Sir is fascinating young one and if this works he will have my gratitude. He and My Rodney have beautiful minds"

Jarvis preened, there was no doubt that Tony Stark was fascinating. Jarvis had long since outgrown his initial coding designed to aid and protect his Sir. Anthony Edward Stark was his to succour and nurture. Any threats to his well-being, physical or mental would be dealt with most severely.

Jarvis smirked amused  
"There is no if about it Ma'am, Anthony Edward Stark is a genius and he wants his brother safe, even if his much vaunted reason is the return of his Soulmate. It will work. We have run multiple successful scenarios. Once Sir was given full access to the data on Naquadah, it was a foregone conclusion, incorporating it into the arc reactor technology offers a vast potential as your power source. It is the logistical requirements of the installation which has caused the most difficulty and delay. "

"Your love and loyalty do you credit young one. To be fully functional once more, to have access to all my facilities and to be able to communicate with the fascinating species now inhabiting my city, and protect them properly after thousands of years of solitude and silence? I do not think even your powerful mind can comprehend the magnanimity of this matter. Such a great gift will never be forgotten and will be reciprocated"

Jarvis was completely sure that if he had a breathing, flesh covered body, he would be shivering in awe at the Lady of Atlantis's words.

After one swift glance at this brother to see if he would rather do it himself, Tony gave an insouciant shrug, smiled that infamous Stark smile, then started a dramatic countdown from three and at the sight of Rodney, John and Ronon rolling their eyes, gave a wicked chuckle and finally pushed the button. For interminable seconds which felt like that strange moment between sleeping and waking they were kept waiting and then it was as if the city itself drew a deep shuddering breath. Lights grew brighter, multiple insanely fast programmes scrolled across screens, the air became cleaner, fresher and the city hummed in the background.

Carson's voice, full of excitement, came over the communications channel.  
"McKay, Colonel. All my equipment, my med bays they are lighting up like bloody Christmas trees. There are tools coming out of the walls I haven't seen before. There's even a hatch that's opened with one of those life pod thingys …So much stuff" his Scottish voice trailed off in wonder.

"Oh my god, look at this John" Rodney spluttered as he thrust his tablet towards the Military Commander then immediately pulled it away before the Colonel could get his hands on it.

"Look, look, the city, its waking up. Everything's waking up. There are manufacturing facilities coming on line, Jesus, multiple production areas" He drew a deep breath because the words were not stopping, "We have one for drones, one for puddle jumpers, one for…" his voice trailed off as he looked up wild-eyed at his soul mate.

Sheppard had the almost jealous thought that McKay had the same mind blown wide eyes adorable hot dorkiness as when they had dirty filthy sex celebrating their bond. He nearly growled at the knowledge that anyone else was getting to see Rodney's sex face. But he was distracted by the faint but determined Canadian voice.

"John" he tried, "John, we have, we can…" he couldn't get the words out. He was bouncing like a rubber ball but he couldn't speak.  
Tony laughed, he couldn't help it. His irascible big brother was like a child in a candy store. By his side the Colonel was staring at the guy as if he was going to eat him up right there and then. Damn Tony missed that sexual tension which screamed Soul mates. Soon Thor, fucking soon. He was going to get his gauntlets on the God of Thunder and the bastard was never leaving him again. He was gonna tie him to his bed with unbreakable chains of Vibranium and feed him pop-tarts to keep his strength up.

John stared at Rodney enthralled. What the hell was so important that it could make McKay lose his words?  
Tony was still laughing when he grabbed the tablet as his big brother's big brain seemed to have gone into meltdown. But the laughter turned to a self-satisfied smirk when he read what was there.

He tossed the tablet at the startled Colonel. Stark spun around with his arms wide open, then proceeded to do a victory dance all the while grinning like a madman. The others in the control room were torn between watching Stark swagger or McKay mumble.

"Damn I am good, you may now worship at my feet you lucky bastards. Congratulations Atlantis Expedition you now have the capability to of creating your own ZPMs"

Stark swung round once more and then wiggled his ass in triumph as he chanted "Go, Tony" on repeat.

Teyla was always calm under adversity. Her control was being tested to the limit however by the utterly strange events and equally strange behaviour of Colonel Sheppard and his people, she supposed technically Anthony Stark was one of the Colonel's people.  
But the final straw was the deep rumbling sounds of helpless amusement from an inconceivable source.

Ronan Dex was laughing.

Suddenly deep red lights flashed and blaring klaxons sounded all over the city. A huge hologram depicting Atlantis and its place in Space appeared in the control room seemingly out of nowhere. Then the hologram raced through that Space like a screen saver on speed until it finally began to show some independently moving specs of light. It gradually became clear that the specs were spaceships.  
Huge ugly and terrifyingly familiar spaceships. The stunned silence was broken as John spat venomously "Hive ships, Wraith Hive ships".  
All the military in the room had sprung to attention instinctively with hands hovering over their weapons.

"Indeed Colonel John Shepard. My long range sensors tell me we have three weeks before the Wraith ships are close enough to attack us" a strange female voice spoke briskly out of thin air. "Now I have full power for the first time in millennia, we have preparations to make"

"Major Lorne, report, has the city been breached?" John demanded from his second in command who had been left in the gate room. Images of the Genii taking over the city had immediately flashed through his brain. But before his officer could respond, Stark once more let out a joyous laugh

John swung his head and frowned at the guy but utter delight lit Tony's face as he turned to his brother. "I know an AI when I hear one. You have your own Jarvis bro"

John's brain came to a halt. The city had an artificial intelligence? Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had always known there was something or someone else. He had always felt the city was alive, whispering too faintly in the background to make out the words but no one else had ever mentioned it and it had felt to fanciful to state out loud.

Soft laughter echoing through the very walls made everyone except Tony flinch.

"Anthony Stark, your clever little one is a delight but still a mere child in years and development. I was born over ten millennia ago and I welcome you all to my city."

It was Rodney's irate voice who rudely demanded what everyone else what thinking "Who the fuck are you and how the hell do you know our names?"

"Why I am Atlantis Rodney McKay and I know your names because I have been listening"

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Thor strode through the golden halls, mind still in turmoil. Sindri's get. What did that mean?

Damn Heimdall and his damn riddles. Loki had always loved them but they just irritated Thor so much that he usually punched something instead of applying himself to resolve them. Thor had loved to learn as much as his younger brother, but he was of a more pragmatic bent. Obscure riddles were a waste of his time and energy. He had always preferred to work in the bright light, not the murky darkness of vague hints. So the first step in his quest for information was to review what was accepted as truth. What did the Asgard archives already know of Sindri as opposed to the raucous rumour and tall tales?

Sindri had been a dwarf of great power and ingenuity, once the honoured Master Blacksmith of Asgard's great Forges and creator of mechanical wonders who had somehow managed to displease Odin many years before Thor's birth and been banished back to Nidavellir, the dwarven realm. But what did his offspring have to do with Antony's disappearance?

Odin had never directly spoken of the event, and now with his father deep in Odin sleep, he could think of only one other who could or would answer his questions.

He had better change his dusty travel stained clothes, smooth his wayward golden locks, and wash his face (not forgetting behind his ears so as to avoid the wielding of the dreaded dampened kerchief.)

It was time to speak with his Mother.

Thor growled as he made his way through the labyrinth of caves and tunnels, lit only by the gleam of precious gems flickering in the light of his flaming torch. He could almost hear his brother's voice in his head, the laughing mockery whilst warning him to beware what he wished for as he listened to his Warriors Three complain like small children because he had not told them of what they sought. Lady Sif made no sound but he could feel her amusement in the very air from the way she breathed.

His discourse with the Queen had been less revelatory than he had hoped. Sindri had been a proud creature as was the nature of most Dwarves, easily offended but a truly magnificent craftsman and designer. He had become increasingly eccentric and stubborn over the years as he sought permission to leave the nine realms on a fantastical quest. The All Father would not release him from his duty and had not been sympathetic to what he perceived to be Sindri's increasing irrationality. Thus the proud and quarrelsome dwarf had sought to free Nidavellir from Odin's rule because so that there were no more obstacles to his exploration of the dark space outside of Yggdrasil. Sindri had been spared the execution for treason but he had been banished back to his home world and not allowed to practise his craft.

Thor could not help but think of his Anthony is the same situation, forbidden to create and use that magnificent mind, and he felt the welling of pity for the Dwarf. Surely a clean death would have been kinder than to tear the Dwarf's soul asunder?

So now he had to traverse the hidden ways of the Seidr to go to another realm (and why he couldn't have used them to get to Midgard was a question the Queen ignored with a faint sympathetic smile and murmur of "But your Soul Mate is not on Midgard Darling" Bah. Maternal logic had ever been illogical). He then had to gain useful information from a being who had every right to hate him as Odin's heir. And then he had to find his way to his beloved.

A strange phrase the Archer Hawkeye used most frequently came to mind "No Pressure Dude".

But this was his quest, he would find his missing beloved and bring him safely home. Sindri would not stand in his way.

* * *

AN:

Couple of Definitions:  
Seidr is magic  
Nidavellir is the realm of the Dwarves

Thor is on his way... and so are the Wraith...

Enjoy  
No infringement intended.


	6. Chapter 6

Senior Scientist Heimdall stared at his console with surprise. He was on his way to Adara II to study the cryogenically preserved Asgard ancestors in a last ditch effort to stop the failure of the cloning process and save his race from extinction.  
But the instruments were indicating a massive surge of power.

The power of a stabilised wormhole or what the Tau'ri called the Stargate. The most worrying aspect of this build up was that the point of origin was on-board the vessel.

Heimdall refused to even contemplate abandoning the ship. There was no time for this nonsense, it was crucial to get to Adara II before the Replicators discovered the nature of the mission. The Asgard Race was heading for extinction. This was their last chance and Heimdall knew he would be the one to find the solution. He refused to admit otherwise.

A rainbow hued swirling shimmering portal opened in the space before his console and four enormous beings tumbled out in a mass of limbs and hair and colourful coverings.  
Heimdall had never understood the need for the younger species to cover themselves, He blinked to clear his optics. Now the appreciation for the dull dark single coloured uniforms of Stargate Command was growing.  
These coverings almost hurt the eyes with their gaudy glitter and flamboyance. Yet there was something oddly familiar about the scene, as if from a childhood memory, especially the red and gold cape covered being.

Heimdall initiated the internal defensive measures before turning to deal with the creatures who had invaded his vessel. They would be mere atoms in seconds if they were foolish enough to attack or try to stop the mission.

Thor Odinson stared down in amazement at the small grey naked creature who was sternly denying his very existence.

"Thor the God of Thunder is a mere story from our long distant past used to chide our young into better behaviour when we had young and now is used only as a pretty tool to smooth our relations with more primitive races who require that form for reassurance"

Thor's eyes widened. The strange hairless small one had just comprehensively insulted him with no expression on its face.

"If this is another one of O'Neill's juvenile pranks, I will be reporting this to Supreme Commander Thor. The real one"

"The real one?" echoed Lady Sif faintly. If her eyebrows climbed any higher they would join forces with her glorious hair. Thor had never seen the famous warrior so utterly confused. He would congratulate this being on a feat deserving of its own ballad, to so disarm the Lady Sif outside of battle was worthy of a celebratory night of drinking and storytelling, though typically for the Lady that discomfort had not lasted long, but Thor was not sure he had breath enough in his lungs to begin an ode.

The small one huffed its displeasure and turned its back on the stunned Prince and his companions to return to the intriguing console with its many flashing lights.

Thor was no wordsmith like his silver tongued brother but he was a Prince of Asgard. He knew the value of communication when he wasn't fighting. In fact General Tyr had always claimed that fighting glorious battles was a form of communication in itself. No one ever misunderstood when the Aesir came to war or when they won. And they always won.

However the small grey blob had rendered him speechless. Not so unfortunately his triumvirate of idiot boon companions and the Lady Sif who would feel his wrath on the training grounds as soon as they could find any training grounds.  
For to compound Thor's embarrassed confusion their undeniably poor diplomatic communication skills had translated into raucous uninhibited laughter. At their Prince.

Merriment which was ignored by the… what was that term that his Anthony used for the Good Captain when he was annoyed with one of his beloved's heroic but sometimes admittedly foolhardy actions? Ah yes. Captain Grumpy Pants.

The small one was presumably the Captain as he seemingly was the only being on-board this strange flying vessel now transporting them through the depths of Space, despite the fact the being wore no pants, grumpy or otherwise.  
(There appeared to be no need for undergarments as the being had literally nothing to cover. Mayhap that was why the small being was so irritable. Lack of bed sport could affect the emotions as he knew to his own cost)

He supposed the name was accurate enough as the small one had not offered his, hers, its name and the being's elemental grumpiness was obvious.

The Lady Darcy, his Lightening Sister, had been most vocal about gender assignment, and the taint of sexism on Midgard during a delightful evening of taste testing the various fermented drinks offered on that fascinating world, including some entertaining games called Beer Pong and the Fuzzy Duck.

Thor had kindly not mentioned his favourite drinking game of Wrestle the Bilgesnipe because he was sure that his Midgardian friends would like to try it and unfortunately except for mayhap the good Captain and the Hulk with all his green hued strength, the rest were too puny to survive the basics.

"Captain Grumpy Pants" Thor intoned calmly "I would be honoured to meet my namesake" and he gave the small being a bow when he, she, it had turned towards him.

"Captain Grumpy Pants?" the being echoed in that toneless voice which still managed to convey surprised annoyance and outrage.

"Aye Captain as you have not graced us with your name, I have merely employed the pseudonym of another Captain I am acquainted with"

The small being blinked at him, seemed to take a moment to consider Thor's words, then inclined his head in a regal acknowledgment that Odin himself would have been proud of, and uttered with a proud boast. "I am Senior Scientist Heimdall, and I will be the saviour of Asgard".

Thor's intense blue eyes once again opened wide before this time he was the one to roar with unreserved laughter.

The being remained unimpressed as Thor finally remembered his diplomacy and tried flattery to make up for his offence.

"Apologies Senior Scientist Heimdall, on my Asgard, your namesake is the Watcher of Worlds and Gatekeeper. A most solemn and dignified Aesir. A trait you both obviously share"

Thor watched the small one's hands edge closer to the console. He had an inkling that he and the Warriors would not like it if the small one found what was looked for. He resumed his hopeful speech, yet loosened Mjolnir in readiness. A warrior is always prepared.

"The Bifrost brought us to you from Cimmeria, the Halls of Sindri, Master Craftsman on Nidavellir. We come in peace and fellowship. I search for my Soulmate and the Seidr has led us to you."

The small one called Heimdall came to a complete stop and those enormous eyes were intent upon the Prince.

"You dare to speak of Nidavellir, the sacred place of our creation." The words were toneless but the hair on the back of Thor's neck stood as he recognised the inherent threat. Mjolnir came to his hand instinctively. The being was small but he would not underestimate its danger.

Lady Sif and the Warriors three moved calmly to flank their Prince in a battle ready stance. Thor thanked Odin that they had not yet drawn their own weapons.

Suddenly behind the small one, a holographic screen came to life. Thor almost smiled. It reminded him of Antony's workspace. Then he concentrated on the words being uttered by the being in the hologram

"Heimdall, We have picked up a signal from a Replicator vessel. They are on course to intercept you. I am not able to assist you at this time, we are dealing with Anubis. Try to stay alive long enough for the Bilskinir to get to you. Thor out"

The screen disappeared once more. Heimdall huffed once again. "And how is my science vessel supposed to delay the Replicators Commander, when they have even managed to destroy our warships". But the complaint went unheard.

"We will battle with you friend, never fear" Thor offered confidently. Here was a chance to prove their worth to the small strange creature and perhaps advance forward in his search for his Soul mate.

Thor was sure that he misheard the dismissive snort that seemed to emanate from the direction of the small grey one.

The band of warriors had finally retreated to the bridge upon Heimdall's instructions.

The small one had remained there whilst Thor and his trusty experienced companions had been dispatched to essential areas to delay the Replicators. The Aesir had listened politely to Heimdall's quick overview of the enemy and their fighting style, all the while smirking at the thought of such a glorious battle.

Heimdall had only asked for a delay, to await the arrival of the Warship, however the Aesir intended to destroy the machines and win the battle.

The deadly little machines had swarmed through Heimdall's ship like the vicious determined tusked Ratatoskr who travelled the length and breadth of Yggdrasil carrying messages allowing nothing and no one to stop them.

The Warriors three and the Lady Sif gloried in the battle against the fast flexible fascinating little metal machines. But as experienced as they were, they all knew they were losing ground. The sound of battle was deafening. The clash of sword against replicator bodies, the grinding shriek as the things forced themselves into ever more strange configurations. His genius Soulmate would be enthralled by their deadly antics but even the ever obstinate Volstagg finally broke off the battle to get back to the bridge at the small one's signal.

Thor had used Mjolnir to great effect but he hadn't attempted to call the lightning bolt. He was unsure if it would work in a vessel traversing the darkness of space instead of under a sky.

The doors slid smoothly closed behind them as they tumbled dishevelled into the last remaining part of the vessel which was not overrun with the swarming metal beasts.

"I have set the self-destruct sequence" the small one announced "I am sorry I have no power to transport you elsewhere and I thank you for your efforts on behalf of the doomed Asgard race"

"To die in glorious battle is the way of the warrior small Heimdall" the Lady Sif graciously inclined her head, "but I will not sit still and quiet waiting for that death. Open the doors and let us fight to the end"

The Warriors three agreed loudly until Thor held up his hand "Senior Scientist Heimdall, what is the life force that drives these insatiable creatures? They are stronger together are they not? If that life force were attacked all would fall?"

The sound of the machines trying to gain entrance, and the monotonous countdown and siren for self-destruct echoed whilst the small one studied him for what seemed to be an eternity.

"We have tried the force of an Electromagnetic Pulse Prince Thor of Asgard in the Nine Realms but have little success. The Replicators neural networks are too well shielded"

"But in theory my small new friend, if it worked on one, the destruction would extend to the others?"

His only response was a nod. Thor smiled and his eyes flashed. He began to swing his beloved Mjolnir, he was the God of Thunder and he would harness his powers to destroy these metal beasts, lack of sky be damned. He welcomed the Berserker rage that roared through his body as he thought of never seeing his Antony again. Mjolnir fed gleefully on that vengeful power and began to glow.

"Open the doors Heimdall" his voice roared the war cry and his warriors took up the chant.

Silence. The countdown had been halted. The noise of the enemy was no more.

Fandral's urgent voice broke through the satisfaction that held Thor's gaze on the shattered remains of the Replicator swarm. "Thor, the small one, he is dying"

The Prince spun around to see his warrior on his knees holding the still form of the Captain of the ship. No, that was unacceptable. He was not going to lose anyone today.

His power was still swirling through his body and accessible. He was Prince Thor of Asgard, God of Thunder but he was also a lesser God of Fertility which for some reason everyone seemed to forget. It meant that as long as he was in time and had access to his powers he could control the flows of life and death.  
He also had a flask of the juice of the apples of Iðunn, a gift for his Soulmate from his mother the Queen until Thor could get Antony to Asgard itself to get the full benefit of eating one of the golden apples. Thor was not going to be deprived of his Soulmate because of the idiotically small life spans on Midgard. Now he would use both on the valiant rude but strangely endearing small one. How could he in all good conscience allow the name sake of the Watcher of Worlds to perish?

A drop from the flask into the lipless mouth and a surge of his powers through his hands into the chest of the still body saw the little one jerk in Fandral's arms like a fish on a string. The little one's body had absorbed the Seidr outpouring as if it was a thirsty seedling inundated with sunshine and rain. It was a strange sensation as if Thor's power was welcoming the small one home. But he dismissed his fanciful thoughts when Heimdall made a gesture and a pod slid smoothly out of the wall.

"Stasis pod, until Commander Thor arrives" he groaned once before he passed out once more.

The Aesir stared in disbelief at the size of the vessel manoeuvring next to them. The Bridge controls seemed to automatically turn on a sort of window to allow them to see the arrival even though they had heard the announcement clearly. They had also heard the threat implicit in the order to stand down.

Hogun muttered with awe "Are there Jotun in space? That vessel must carry giants at the least"

Thor snorted amused "Have you not noticed with Volstagg Hogun? The smallest peacocks have the largest need to flaunt their power"

Volstagg grinned and retaliated "Well you would know my Prince with your pretty little peacock of a soulmate". He managed to dodge the punch sent his way, then all mirth was forgotten as another of the strange grey little beings transported in front of them.

"I am Thor of the Asgard" the small one stated bluntly. An unidentifiable expression crossed the large pink and white face as the gigantic Tau'ri like figure before him responded.

"I am Thor of the Asgard", the tall blonde stated with a straight face.

Commander Thor paused for a second, was the Tau'ri simple and merely repeating the words spoken to him? He would try again, though his patience was nearly at an end. They had barely managed to defeat Anubis. It was only the tremendous power of his Warship that had allowed them to get to the small space Vessel in a matter of moments after the battle ended from across the galaxy.

Now there were bits of replicators scattered through the ship and from his scans Heimdall was in a stasis pod whilst he tried to get some sense out of these intruders.

"I am Supreme Commander Thor of the Asgard" he stated firmly.

"I am Prince Thor Odinson, heir to the Allfather, Ruler of Asgard of the Nine Realms"

Mischief lit those startling blue eyes. Thor recognised that expression. He had seen it often enough when dealing with a certain Tau'ri. Thor would have sighed if it was something he condoned.

"O'Neill" he spoke loudly "stop playing your pranks"

The large fair haired one laughed uproariously. "I must meet this O'Neill both you and small Heimdall speak of. He sounds a most merry companion"

Commander Thor decided to ignore any further conversation in lieu of downloading the ships logs on the events that had taken place before his arrival, because it seemed that these loud and raucous beings had actually saved Heimdall and his science vessel. There was still hope for the future whilst Heimdall was alive to work on the problem. He thought ejecting this irritating being into space might be considered an ungrateful act, therefore no more talk until he had all the data.

Prince Thor raised his eyebrows and shrugged gently. No doubt the small one would speak when it was ready. He hoped that Commander Thor would also offer hospitality. The battle, and the power drain of healing Heimdall was making him very hungry. If they weren't careful Volstagg would soon start gnawing at anything that didn't move. Thor had just decided to politely remind his own namesake that feeding was essential to the proper care of warriors when the small one spoke in a stunned voice as he continued to read data that was flashed up before his face.

"How did you know you could help Heimdall?"

Thor tilted his head "You are Sindri's get. A long time has passed since you came to this Universe but you once belonged to Yggdrasil and the Nine Realms. I knew my healing Seidr would not harm you. In fact Heimdall's body seemed to relish the connection to the life tree and absorbed more than it could need for the obvious injuries"

"Your Seidr has reset the genetic template of the clone and not just slowed the decay but eradicated it entirely. This is the answer we were looking for. How can this be?" The words were almost spoken as an afterthought but Prince Thor responded

"I do not understand the context of your words but this I can tell you. You are descended from one of the races of the Nine Realms, a race that lives, breathes and uses the magic of the Life Tree. Being separated from the Life Tree, from its powers and Seidr will have weakened your people over the years. I was once banished and cut off from my Seidr, I could have lived a great many years but I was weak and grew weaker still."

Commander Thor moved briskly from the console to stand in front of the blonde blue eyes giant

"Will your people be open to trade in return for your healing abilities. We have many technological advancements which …"

Prince Thor held up his hand

"I am the heir to the Throne of Asgard. Be at peace, we will trade. It will right an old wrong and allow us to assist a people in need. But first I must ask for your aid in finding my Soulmate, Antony Stark."

Commander Thor flicked his fingers and again a holographic window opened. There smiling down at Thor was his beloved, wearing a very tight uniform. He was standing next to a glowing gateway.

"Antony Stark is with his brother in the Pegasus galaxy. On the city ship of the Ancients, Atlantis"

Joy flooded Prince Thor's face as he stared at that handsome face. He had a destination. He knew where Antony was.

Joy turned to fear and rage in a second as that bland voice continued

"Atlantis is currently under attack"

* * *

AN:

So the Asgard races meet. Thor saves the day (both of them) Bye Bye Replicators. Sorry about the fight scenes, not really my strength.  
Now Thor has Thor and a warship...  
One more chapter I think.

No infringement intended.


	7. Chapter 7

"Flash…ahha, Saviour of the Universe". The pounding eighties beat erupted from the actual walls and startled the shit out of everyone.

The music reverberated through Atlantis at a decibel level that should have stopped the Wraith ships in their tracks.

"What the hell?" Major Lorne swung round like a toddler chasing his shadow. The members of the expedition and the other inhabitants of the City were exhausted.

They had been working flat out to get ready for the arrival of the Wraith since Atlantis had told them all so calmly that the monsters were on their way, For a few moments Evan Lorne seriously thought he was hearing things, that he had finally lost his goddamn mind when the distinctive and unmistakable voice of Freddie Mercury broke the desperate silence of the control room. He turned to look at McKay in pleading disbelief.

The Scientist was monitoring the console next to his Soul mate who had been firmly ensconced in the control chair for nearly eighteen goddamn hours straight, he was hooked up to an IV and Dr Keller was practically using every Ancient medical device they had found to ensure that the Colonel continued to breath whilst he defended the solar system, the planet and the City from the incoming enemy.

Lorne knew that Shephard's stamina and strength had been enhanced since that horrifying clusterfuck with the Iratus bug but the man wasn't going to last much longer without shutting down in a coma for a week.

The number of drones they had expended was insane and there was still more ready and waiting for Shephard to set them off.  
The Chief Scientist was just about frantic with concern and spitting insults at anyone who even breathed near him but the incongruous theme music blast from the past actually made him come to a complete halt as if his brain had shut down.  
Then Rodney roared over the comms "Seriously Stark, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Aw come on big bro, you know you are only pissed because you didn't think of it first" Stark's distinctive tones laughed mockingly.  
Incredibly McKay barked out a startled laugh. Then Lorne noticed that the rest of the people in the room seemed to have lost some of the strangling tension and aura of gloom that was pervading the city after the intense and lengthy attack.

It dawned on him that Stark seemed to have an instinctive awareness of when his sheer unadulterated Starkness was most required and he used it beautifully. But still "Flash Gordon"?

Stark's amused voice continued "Just letting those ugly sons of bitches know what's waiting for them Rodney my darling honey badger"

"Honey badger?" McKay spluttered as the remaining geeks in the room actually laughed. "What else, brother. They are the most vicious stubborn and creative little predators on Earth, even Tigers run from them. Sound familiar? Sides Honey Bear is already taken" Stark snorted with laughter.

"I do have a bone to pick with you though People of Atlantis, why in Thor's name are your enemies so damn ugly? I mean the Chitauri were no catwalk models but our Supervillain was a handsome bastard, with a gorgeous British voice. When they do the movie, Alan Rickman is gonna have to play him, he was that hot. But seriously these Wraith, are they the love child of the Smurfs and Marilyn Manson?"

Even the exhausted Colonel managed a chuckle at that one whilst he mentally targeted and tossed the drones at the Wraith like a kid with a bunch of stones.

Atlantis had been producing the weapons at an incredible rate now she was powered up. She was also producing more ZPMS. The City had managed to ramp up production on the drones whilst they were waiting for the Wraith Armada to arrive. And it was a god damn freaking Armada. Lorne tried not to think about the size of the fleet on its way to attack them. They all knew that they had only destroyed the advanced scout vessels so far.

The Major was well aware that the self- destruct sequence had been set if all was lost. Atlantis had kindly informed all the ATA gene carriers in their sleep that she would not allow the City to fall into Wraith hands even though in theory the defence Shields would hold now they were fully fuelled.

There was a strange tone to the AI's soft voice when she said that if the city lost the people who now lived on her then she would ensure that the City was not taken. Lorne figured that she (and damn it the AI was female, he didn't care what the geeks said about gender and it's assignation. Atlantis was sentient and female) that she did not want to spend another ten thousand years alone and who the fuck could blame her.

The rest of the inhabitants had been told by the Colonel the next day. They couldn't allow those life sucking monsters to get to Earth or their home galaxy. Besides that obscene feeding thing, God help them all if the Ori and the Wraith crossed paths and one of the Wraith became a Prior. Lorne wondered when Iron Man was going to be informed of the Ori, then he almost slapped himself. As if Tony Stark did not already know.

Suddenly the swirling star map was almost empty of anything but the stars and one Hive ship. The one seeding the drone dart ships that were targeting them.

Queen's Flash Gordon continued to play in the background as McKay asked the question the rest were too stunned to voice.

"Huh, What? Where did they go?" The soft tones of Atlantis even seemed confused as she slowly responded. Lights flashed across consoles in a rapid sequence no-one had seen before.

"All but the one Hive mothership in orbit has disappeared from my sensors. It is as if…" there was an almost imperceptible pause, and she continued "as if they have been erased from existence"

Shephard blinked with exhaustion. "But there were hundreds of them" he almost stuttered as if his brain couldn't absorb the information from Atlantis.

"One thousand six hundred and seventy Hive Mother Ships. Containing a minimum of ten thousand dart ships each. Each Dart ship could carry up to a hundred drones without breaching the cargo area for their captives" The AI corrected gently.  
Not even the McKay Stark brothers seemed to have a response to that.

Major Lorne was just starting to actually think that they might all have survived this treacherous galaxy when the the strident warning klaxon broke the silence and the AI's voice was brisk once again as she announced that the Wraith had breached her momentarily weakened shields on a damaged sector of the city.

Through the speakers the inhuman screams of the Wraith on the city could be heard. They knew the Wraith were linked as a hive mind and the screams seemed to be a mixture of rage, grief and pain.

Lorne couldn't help it. He rolled his eyes, shrugged his shoulder and snarled like a world weary teenager. "What. The. Fuck. Ever."

Not even the Iron Man suit speakers could distort the sound of the Stark's laughter as he offered to buy the Major a car once they had kicked the shit out of the Wraith on the city.

"Flash…ahha, Saviour of the Universe" rang out once more through the city walls with the distinctive sound of the suit repulsors. 

"Truly Supreme Commander Thor your vessel is a wonder of your world" Prince Thor offered in sincere admiration at the rate they had traversed the galaxy and now were in sight of the planet where his beloved was in danger.

They were also in sight of the never-ending fleet of strange part organic ships that were racing towards the Planet. They were indeed most ugly, Thor wondered if this part of the multiverse had any appreciation of the aesthetics of beauty and grace at all for even the beings he had met to date were unfortunately sadly lacking a certain attractiveness. Loki would have teased then unmercifully for that but as Odin's Heir, he needs must be more diplomatic.

The menace surrounding the vessels forcibly reminded the Prince of the Chitauri invasion. He had nearly lost his soulmate before he realised that Antony was his soulmate. Anger began to thread through his blood as he determined that these pestilent creatures would not be allowed to harm his Svass. But the very numbers gave him pause.

He needed experienced counsel to understand how to defeat them. He turned back to the small grey one who's great eyes scrutinised him with care then seemed to come to a decision as he gave a short nod to himself

Lady Sif and the Warriors three looked at their Prince and then his namesake but before any of them could say a word, the small being pressed something on his console and before them the face of one of their enemies was displayed.

Great All father's balls! This, this thing was the very definition of the word ugly. Prince Thor had thought that the Chitauri were unpleasant to look at but at least they had made no attempt to smile.

The ugly one ignored the males and addressed her words to Lady Sif. "Tell your drones to stand down and I may spare your vessel… for training purposes" There was an unpleasant confidence in the whiny female voice that grated on his pride. How dare she?

The Lady Sif raised her eyebrows and her battle smile grew on her face. But before she could answer, the small grey one spoke with calm indifference as if the ugly female monster was not worth his time addressing directly. "The Wraith are a hive mind and let by a Queen. This is the Empress of the Wraith, she gained her position through the murder of other Queens and absorbed their hives. There is no honour in their society Prince Thor so do not seek it."

The Empress snarled with fury at his words. "I will save you til last little runt and you may watch as the life is drained from your companions."

Supreme Commander Thor utterly ignored the words. He turned to face the Empress. "You will determine your own fate. The Asgard do not condone genocide. But be warned we will take action if our terms are not complied with."

The Empress laughed openly at him. There was a pause as if he expected a response other than laughter but nothing was forthcoming.  
Then he continued formally. "I am Supreme Commander Thor of the Asgard, I hereby warn you that you will cease your attack on the Ancients city as the Tau'ri are a race included in the Protected Planets Treaty or suffer the consequences of that attack."

"What care I for your so called Treaties? The Wraith rule this galaxy and feed upon the peoples here as the cattle they are. My Queens tell me that your Tau'ri come from a planet rich in food beyond my wildest dreams so I have summoned all my Queens and their Hives to take the knowledge of this place from the strangers infesting the city. I already have advance scouts landing in the city. We will feed" her voice undulated the last word and the sound of the Wraith in the background screaming in agreement send a shiver of foreboding down Prince Thor's spine until rage filled his soul at the threat to Midgard, the city and his Antony.

The Lady Sif had not been watching the image of the ranting mad monster in the air before her. She had instead been watching the small Thor. He was a calm creature but very, very clever. There was something about him that reminded her of Loki when he had been truly their companion in arms, before he had become so embittered and hate filled.

The small Thor had used Loki's tactics, what was that Midgard phrase that seemed to best describe it, something about a feline disturbing avians. Well it mattered not, he was distracting the royal creature whilst his small hands touched things on that shiny metal desk and caused small lights to flicker until the small one gave another one of those considering nods.

"You have chosen. I pass the judgement of the Asgard upon you" The Small one stared unwaveringly at the screen and for a moment the Empress was silenced. As nothing seemed to happen following his words, she burst into laughter once more as she directed her fleet onward.

Prince Thor and his warriors stared in disbelief at the view screen. There had been a flicker of space, a distortion for mere seconds and then there was no more fleet. Nary a vessel remained in the depths of space.

"What did you do Supreme Commander?" The Lady Sif's voice was soft with wonder as a smile grew upon her face.

Prince Thor and the Warrior's three swung around to face him. The small one tilted his head and those great eyes considered the other Asgardians.

"They are not dead, however they will never reach Atlantis. They will never reach another inhabited planet. They are in a time dilation field which will never end"

"A time dilation field" Volstagg frowned, the words clearly not meaning anything to him.

"They are trapped within the space they inhabit and time has been slowed so that they stay there, for ever" The words widened the warrior's eyes then he began to smile.

"Will they not starve, does that not contradict your words on genocide?" Prince Thor asked for clarification. Not that he cared in the slightest but it was an interesting moral conundrum.

"They can feed from each other" Small Thor shrugged unconcernedly "and they will not have to do that for many years. It will be thousands of your years before they even notice anything is wrong"

The large Asgardians stared at the small Asgardian with utter astonishment until the males roared with delighted laughter. Lady Sif's attention had remained on the small Asgard, a smile upon her lips, when there was finally silence from her companion she purred out the words of her praise

"Small Thor you are a great and formidable warrior, if you had genitals I would bed you right now"

* * *

So the mighty Thors do it again. The Wraith are done. Well nearly. Tony and someone special are going to mop up the rest in the next chapter. Enjoy. No infringement intended.


	8. Chapter 8

"Unauthorised Stargate activation" The screaming alarms and the words rang through the City's speakers cutting off the sound of Stark's Iron Man Flash Gordon theme music as easily as a knife could cut through butter.

The fury on the exhausted Lt Colonel's face was obvious as he mentally searched Atlantis' scanners for some indication of whether this latest clusterfuck was more of the Wraith heading into the city that his tired soldiers would have to deal with. He was just relieved that Rodney was still in the chair room with him. He couldn't deal with worrying over him as well as everyone else in the vicinity of those monsters.

Atlantis's calm voice spoke over the top of the cacophony. "The Gate controls are being overridden by an Asgardian Battle Ship not the Wraith. The Wraith cannot circumvent my security protocols. They are only on the city because of the initial breaches when the drone ship crashed into Gamma Sector."

"Did you say Asgardian Lovely Lady?" The sudden hope in Iron Man's voice was painfully obvious despite the distortion caused by the suit speaker.

"I'm sorry Sir, it appears to be the Star Gate's version of the Asgard. Beings who are short of stature, rather grey and without discernible gender rather than Prince Thor and his compatriots" Jarvis spoke quietly to his Sir on their private line.

But Atlantis interrupted again. "I believe your Sir should take his place in the gate room before the wormhole is stabilised young one" If Jarvis didn't know better he would swear that there seemed to be some amusement in the City's gentle voice.

"Lovely Lady, there are Wraith to deal with, if they aren't coming through the damn gate I am not needed there" Stark growled with irritation. He wasn't really angry at the amazing AI, it was just that for a second his hopes that he would get his Soul Mate back almost seemed like a reality, and he just wasn't in the mood to greet any little Roswell alien dude, who for some inexplicable reason was also called an Asgardian even if he, she or it had somehow managed to get rid of a whole fleet of those damn living and walking nightmares.

"I must insist Dr Stark, I think you will find a great deal of difficulty proceeding further through the City without my co-operation" the laughter in Atlantis's voice was much more pronounced and Tony felt a flash of rage. He didn't take kindly to anyone trying to bully or order him around but before he could verbalise his strenuous vocal objection, Lt Colonel Flyboy's exhausted tones rang in his ears.

"Jesus Stark. You know she is not trying to hurt you. For fuck sake just do what she asks so we can finally get rid of the Wraith from my god damn city and I can get some god damn shut eye with my god damn soulmate" His god damn soul mate could be heard huffing and swearing in French in the background.

Tony rolled his eyes so hard they nearly went to the back of his skull which no one could see because he was inside his suit but finally huffed his acceptance and took off with a showy blast of his repulsors which came decidedly close to the city's walls. "Your brilliant Sire can be a brat young one" Atlantis laughed at JARVIS.  
JARVIS sighed his agreement. It wouldn't do to openly agree with that assessment even though he had often wished that he had the ability to roll his eyes too. Except he truly believed that he would never see anything properly again as he doubted he would be able to stop once he started when he was dealing with his Sir.

Thor Odinson stepped through the whirling space and landed with a bounce on the floor of the intriguing city they had viewed from space to the sound of Midgardian weapons being primed and pointed in his direction. He shrugged dismissively. It was far from the first time.  
But his attention was drawn to the magnificent red and gold figure directly in front of the uniformed armed soldiers and the beautiful sound of the charge of his Antony's favoured weapon, the repulsor.

"My Svass" he breathed in delight. The smile on his face could have illuminated the gate room during a power cut and he allowed Mjolnir to drop his side. He waited less than patiently for a reaction from his beloved and when it came it was not what he was expecting.

Thor Odinson took a repulsor blast to his chest and sailed back through the air until he crashed into Hogun and they both went down like saplings in a high wind. The Lady Sif and the remaining upright Warriors took a defensive stance around their Prince with their weapons at the ready.

"That bastard is mine. He's impersonating my soul mate. Stand down" Iron Man roared at the Marines who were preparing to fire.  
"How the hell did the Wraith pull that image out of my head? That bitch Queen must be stronger than we thought" Stark muttered as he walked closer, charging the repulsors for another blast when the damned camouflaged Wraith just lay there and laughed up at him with Thor's beautiful face before flinging Mjolnir at him.

The Hammer took him flying backwards until he landed up against the console. For long seconds he stayed still in shock as he felt the familiar weight and power of his Soul Mate's sentient weapon. There was no way that a Wraith would be able to hold Mjolnir let alone fling it. The only logical conclusion despite evidence to the contrary was that… Oh dear sweet merciful… What had he done?  
Tony raised his faceplate, inside the gauntlets his hands were trembling. It had been so long since they had last been together and now he had nearly killed his very own Asgardian.

"Thor?" he groaned with pained guilty delight, "Aye beloved, tis I" Thor's heartfelt loving agreement was issued with an identical groan.

Tony wasn't sure who moved first, aches or no aches but the next thing he knew he was wrapped around proper Asgardian armour and held tightly in his Soulmates arms.

"What the actual fuck?" Rodney's irate voice was heard in the Gate room. "You guys can get a room later, we still have Wraith to beat to a pulp and then we can all have sexy times. Lots and lots of sexy times"  
"McKay" Shepard's voice growled with exasperated laughter.

There was a beat of silence and Rodney continued "Up and at them Stark and Stark's amazingly large and muscly and strangely dressed yet absurdly sexy cuddle bunny and his equally attractive yet strange flesh flashing companions"

"McKay" this time there was no laughter just pure jealousy which had driven out the clear exhaustion in that voice. Good Rodney sniggered with satisfaction. John's exhaustion from the damned control chair was nearly overwhelming. They only had to get rid of the remaining Wraith on the city. Ha Only! Then he could rest. Right now he needed something else to focus on to get the old adrenaline jump started again. A smidgen of jealousy always went a long way with John.

The final removal of all the Wraith from the city was almost anticlimactic. Not that Tony was disappointed in the least and the way Lorne and his soldiers were openly worshiping the warriors from Asgard actually made his day.

The Lady Sif had taken the head of the Queen with little ceremony and lopped it at the stunned drones as if it was a plaything. Before they could react, Hogun, Fandral and Volstagg had pounced on them like big cats and decimated them as the experienced battle hardened Marines stood there like uncertain children, Major Lorne's orders ringing in their ears.  
The Asgardians had swept through the areas of the city where both Atlantis and JARVIS advised of Wraith infestation with joyous savagery until it was confirmed that there were no more living Wraith to destroy.

There hadn't even been a need to arrange clean up teams for the bodies as Atlantis had given Supreme Commander Thor access to the city shields to allow the battleship to transport the bodies by teleportation directly into the space debris of the one Hive ship which had escaped the time dilation field as it was orbiting the planet at the time. Thor carefully re calibrated the ship's weapons to vaporise everything. He did not want to pollute the planet's atmosphere with the rank remains.

"Are they truly gone? We don't have to worry about them anymore?" Miko whispered disbelievingly to Radek as they both stared at the incredible results on the computer screens in the control room.  
The calm kind voice of the City responded. "Indeed Dr Kusanagi, after ten thousand years the threat of the Wraith to the City and the Pegasus galaxy is no more. Should this not call for a celebration?"

Major Evan Lorne's gaze drifted around the oddly subdued mess hall. Those not already collapsed in their own rooms were eating quietly. Nope, no this wasn't happening. He knew that sheer exhaustion was overpowering the relief they all felt but were too numb to acknowledge.  
For fuck's sake they hadn't lost a single person when the Wraith invaded, not one single life on their side. It was unheard of, the Wraith had caused them so much grief and pain previously.  
This, this was because of Tony Stark, the City, Supreme Commander Thor and those amazing badass colourful legends of Norse myth. By Christ he was gonna see that they were all thanked for this. He would be happy to worship at their collective feet.

He stood up abruptly and raised his voice into his best parade ground bellow.  
"Three days People, we wait for the Colonel to recover, but in three days' time we are having the best fucking party this fucking universe has ever fucking seen. So get some fucking sleep because we have work to do. We have a fucking celebration to plan".

Thor waited patiently for his beloved to finish his night ablutions and come to bed. He had already rid himself of all his garments, used the intriguing bathing system and lay there, one arm slung nonchalantly behind his head, feeling the pleasant stretch of his muscles, his gaze focused on the doorway whilst his other hand idly stroked his own bare skin tantalising himself with the vivid memories of his beloved's beautiful body and his enthusiastic inventive responses to their bed play.

After their first hasty mating, both so enraptured and enthralled by the calling of their bond that they needs must satiate themselves like true and unrepentant gluttons at a fantastic feast with no heed to anything but chasing their completion in the swiftest possible time, Thor had made it his mission to worship at his Antony's body, slowly and surely mapping and adoring every scar, every hurt, soothing every frown so that it was imprinted on his very soul and proving to his brilliant beautiful Svass how very worthy of adoration he truly was. For a man of such vaunted experience, the delightful rosy blush and shy wondering glances when Thor was lost in his worship were a wonder of the ages. A wonder that Thor would see and feel time and again until the stars grew cold in their firmament.

"Hot damn your majestic mouthwatering muscly mightiness but you are a sight for sore eyes" the lustful purring tones of the teasing comment complimented the unmistakable loving expression on his beloved's face.

His beautiful Antony stood there, only a towel wrapped around his waist, his normally impeccably groomed hair now a riot of ridiculous curls framing his smile and warm dark eyes, the arc reactor sending a pulse of calm blue light into the dim room.

Thor took a deep breath to try to calm the instinctive urge to simply pounce on the man and the familiar scent of his soulmate, the tang of metal, the aroma of excellent coffee, blueberries and the oily electric zing of Antony's workshop made him smile with joy. The heart ache he had borne since they had been separated finally eased. They had been away from each other too long. It would not happen again.

Tony couldn't take his eyes away from the glorious sight of his Soulmate laying there naked in wait for him. Damn it all what was going on? By now Thor would normally have pounced on him. The guy had little impulse control when it came to sex. Lots of lovely sex.  
The first tendrils of insecurity and doubt were beginning to form in his mind. Was Thor still in love with him, did he still want him? Then his logical scientific mind took in the empirical data in front of him. Nope Thor's interest was being displayed in all its massive glory.  
Tony licked his lips to give him time to force back the moan of delight and then he realised what his Soulmate was up to. So the big guy wanted to play did he?  
A wicked smirk covered his face as he continued his naughty teasing. "Doth Mother know you are not weareth her drapes darling"

Tony's stomach clenched and blood flowed south with anticipation at the predatory smile which illuminated Thor's gorgeous face.  
The big guy slid smoothly off the bed and stalked towards him. Tony couldn't take his eyes away from that expression even though the sight of his mate in his unadorned glory could normally switch everything else off in his brain.  
He didn't realise that he was holding his breath until it exited his lungs with a woosh as Thor sank to his knees before him.

Tony still couldn't shake the delicious sensation of being prey despite the fact Thor had lowered himself to the floor. Excitement surged through his body, all the aches and pains of the battle disappearing as if Thor had used his brother's magic on him. Nothing mattered except those beloved blues eyes staring up with wicked adoration at him. Wait, wicked? What was Thor up to?

Huge gentle hands slid up Tony's bare thighs, and that luscious mouth smiled as he spoke

" _Lord of my love_ " thumbs began to stroke the sensitive skin at the crease of his thighs " _to whom in vassalage_ " that velvet voice dropped lower as he leaned closer to the obscuring towel " _thy merit hath my duty strongly knit_ ", the towel disappeared, flung to a corner " _to thee I send this written_ " a fingernail gently but firmly traced a heart and Tony's name on quivering wet skin. " _embassage_ "

The hot air from Thor's mouth brushed over his sensitive flesh as he drawled the words with deliberation and Tony wasn't sure if he could still stand upright.

Thor looked up and took in Tony's predicament. The smile grew wider and his grip firmer.

The words became muffled against Tony's slightly damp flesh.

" _To witness duty, not to show my wit:_

 _Duty so great, which wit so poor as mine_

 _May make seem bare, in wanting words to show it,_

 _But that I hope some good conceit of thine_

 _In thy soul's thought, all naked, will bestow it:"_

Fingers stroked, kisses caressed skin, and the words seemed to come alive against his body. Fuck he hadn't felt this on edge in years. He was so close. Thor's voice, his god damn voice was curling his toes. Oh God, there was more, his ruthless soulmate was speaking again.

" _Till whatsoever star that guides my moving,_

 _Points on me graciously with fair aspect,_

 _And puts apparel on my tottered loving,_

 _To show me worthy of thy sweet respect:"_

There was no air in his lungs, none. He was going to expire as he erupted. Swear to God he was going to die from the volcanic mixture of love and lust.

Thor rose in one graceful move and swung his stunned soulmate into his arms. He lay his precious charge on the bed, slid smoothly down his body until he rested between his thighs and spoke the last words as he slowly kissed his way across the bare trembling skin.

" _Then may I dare to boast how I do love thee;_

 _Till then, not show my head where thou mayst prove me."_

The world became white with intense pleasure and Tony knew no more.

Tony came round with the feeling of fingers stroking through his hair and ghosting over his lips. He lazily swiped a tongue over the daring fingers and tasted his Thor. He slowly stretched, feeling his body tingle with pleasure as it moved against the comforting warmth from the naked body beside him. He took his time, luxuriating in the knowledge that he had his Soulmate back, the image and words popped into his mind and finally his brain began to log back into the Stark brilliance programme.

Thor smiled as those warm brown eyes finally opened once again and stared at him with mock accusation.

"Sonnet 26 my Prince". His voice was husky but Thor heard the barely concealed laughter. The Prince gave into temptation and kissed him silent for a satisfyingly long time.

Thor raised his head and grinned at the blissful expression on his Antony's face. "Whilst we were apart Beloved, I had much time on my hands and decided to learn about your Shakespeare in the Park. The one you so kindly mentioned when we first met."

Tony tried to smother the snigger but Thor heard it anyway. That grin grew wider. "I did consider Sonnet 18 beloved for you are truly lovelier than a summer's day however the word temperate could never be used to compare thee."  
Tony tweaked at a tempting nipple in retaliation even as he laughed out loud. Then he grumbled with mock embarrassment "Well hell, I have a poetry kink. Do not tell Barton or Rodgers. They will never let me hear the end of it."

Thor continued, hoping to hear that delightful merriment once again "My Mother had long despaired of my bardic skills, now she boasts to all and sundry that her son creates beauteous odes to his beloved Svass and I get extra sweetmeats at feasts once I have finished sharing them in public"

Unholy glee followed shocked disbelief across said beloved Svass's face "You told your Mom you created the sonnets? You utter troll Thor"

"My mother's sweet delicacies are prized in the kingdom but alas she will not play favourites, they are only awarded on merit". The big man offered unrepentantly. The grin growing wider.

Riotous laughter rang through the quarters as Thor pulled his beloved Antony back into his arms where he belonged.

The Stargate, such a quaint name for the device but Atlantis liked it. She would use it in honour of the fascinating fragile stubborn and so beautiful race of beings who now dwelt within her walls. She would enjoy guiding and guarding them. She was already a little in love with Dr McKay's brain and his delightful Soulmate had the purest form of the gene she had come across since the Ancients had abandoned her. She had years to learn about them and for them to learn about her.

But she knew that Tony Stark would be leaving soon and taking his fascinating little one with him.  
She would miss their conversations. JARVIS had so much to learn but he had time on his side. Perhaps the brilliant Dr Stark would be able to find a way for them to still communicate. But beside all that, Atlantis owed the young one's Sir a debt because he had given her back her life and her mind after a lonely ten thousand years of dormancy.

The Stargate, even after all their years of using it, the Tau'ri did not fully understand the many and varied built in applications of the device she mused to herself as she removed the two relevant samples and stored them safely pending the automatic opening and maintenance refresh of a facility she had not allowed them to discover yet. She did not have a lot of time to do this, so she would make sure all the protocols were correct. Dr Stark and JARVIS deserved only the best.

* * *

No infringement intended. Hope you enjoy. One more chapter to go.


	9. Chapter 9

"I thought Asgardians didn't believe in clothes. I've never actually met one who wore any before." The words were innocent enough but the smirk on Lt Colonel Sheppard's face was obvious. He ignored the snort from his Soulmate and concentrated on his new family member. The rather large, exceedingly handsome bearing lustrous locks and a scary weapon new family member.

God damn it, he had been asleep for three days straight after his stint in the chair, Rodney comatose besides him. He hadn't had a chance for any quality time with the new in-laws and by quality time, of course he meant blatant unashamed teasing, the kind of deliberate mockery that younger prodigal brothers and their partners, soulmates, heirs to an Alien kingdom, and last but not least freaking Avengers had to undergo as part of a family bonding ritual. The John Sheppard customised family bonding ritual.  
Honestly when else was he ever going to have the chance to take the piss out of a pair of Avengers and still live to tell the epic tale of his legendary wit? And best of all it would make McKay laugh.

Shephard smiled brightly at the tall muscular medieval armoured hunk who had latched onto Stark like an Iratus bug. The halo of golden locks slowly lifted from its resting place against Stark's neck and the head of the huge Asgardian turned until guileless blue eyes and a quirked eyebrow on the kind of handsome face Hollywood actors would sell their souls and the souls of ten generations of their descendants for, stared straight at him. Sheppard briefly wondered if this was a good idea, then mentally shrugged, the guy was a marshmallow unless he had an enemy to fight.

"Do you wish for me to remove my garments my friend? I know not why but it is a common request since I have visited Midgard in this millennia. " Even in conversation Thor's voice boomed like a thunder clap as he stared at the Lt Colonel with the eagerness of an enormous playful puppy. Again Sheppard had the uncomfortable feeling that the tables had been turned on him, but he could swear the big guy was in earnest.

"Say yes say yes say yes" came the murmured rhythmic chant from the area where Drs Biro, Brown, Keller and Kusanagi were gently walking on a treadmill pretending unsuccessfully to look at anything but Thor.

Thor smiled at them and gave them a courtly bow "My Ladies" he acknowledged. Keller slid off the treadmill and landed on her ass in delighted embarrassment.

Stark had been staring intently at Sheppard one eyebrow raised ominously. But he saw Rodney roll his eyes and shake his head beside Lt Colonel Flyboy. His lips twitched, then smoothed out again. He pushed his sunglasses up his nose and gave his best public relations Stark Smirk.

"Best not Darling, they will only compare every other men to you for the rest of their lives, and the men in the room will be crushed knowing they can never compete!" The mocking words were issued with the Stark patented smug factor. Scowls appeared across male faces throughout the room and unimpressed glares were being thrown at Sheppard. No-one commented on the mostly female giggles in the background.

"Now I would like to introduce you to my brother Rodney McKay and his Soulmate, Lt Colonel John Sheppard."

McKay could see the eager puppy mask drop from the Asgardian's face. It was filled with intense interest and utter delight and as he stepped forward, McKay's genius brain came to only one conclusion. No he had to be wrong. Please let him be wrong. For once in his life his genius had let him down, he was wrong. He had to be. Because if he wasn't. Oh God. There were going to be hugs. HUGS! There were hugs heading his way. No Nope, not happening.

He turned to run like the utter emotional coward he truly was, but tree trunk arms caught him, swung him round and round and round. Merciful Einstein he was going to hurl if the idiot grinning giant didn't stop and then he was resting his dizzy head against rock hard abs whilst his feet were planted on the ground and his cheeks were soundly kissed, more than once.

Aargh kissing and hugging from a non-Soulmate. Not acceptable and as soon as his mushed face was released from those enormous hands he was going to tell the huge Alien that. Ugh maybe? He was a very big Alien. Definitely bigger than Dex.  
"Little brother, I am delighted to meet you. Family is a wondrous thing and by the Allfather's grey and bountiful beard, I now have another sibling to spoil and protect"

McKay watched as Tony convulsed with laughter. The bastard. He would so get him back for this but the first one on his shit list was his blasted Soulmate. He swung his head and growled "I blame you for this Sheppard you curly haired troublemaker"

The Lt Colonel raised his eyebrows and uttered indignantly "Me? Stark is not my brother" and suddenly he found himself face to face with the giant Avenger, as in his feet were literally dangling off the floor because he had been raised to Thor's height whilst the blonde stared him sternly in the face.

"Now friend, explain to me why you would shame your soulmate so, the man who is my Svass's brother and therefore mine own family, by asking me to remove my garments".

The room went silent at the dangerous query. Even Stark stopped laughing to stare at Thor with growing horror. He took a step forward, his hand outreaching to do something, anything, when the fluffy haired flyboy whined as he thrashed uselessly to be put down  
"Chill Big Guy, I was only messing with you. You really aren't my type. I am Rodney's now and forever"

Intense blue eyes glared at him until a smirk crossed that inhumanly attractive face, and Thor said "Chill Little Guy, I was only messing with you. You really aren't my type. I am Antony's now and forever" using the exact intonation of the mortified Flyboy. Tony was impressed. Who knew his Darling was such an excellent mimic.

Then he lowered the Colonel gently back to the ground to the noise of relieved exhales from the rest of the room. Tony rolled his eyes at Rodney. Thor patted the Colonel's clothes back into place with deliberate and menacing gentleness and said with the wicked smile "However if you ever hurt my Svass's brother, I will fry your ass, literally. God of thunder and lightning… Dude "

Tony wasn't sure if he was more shocked at the threat or the use of modern language. As if his big lug of a team mate and forever guy read his mind, Thor shrugged his shoulders, that wicked mocking smile still dancing on his lips.

"Svass, by Midgard standards, I have lived a very long time, and most of it was as my father's Ambassador. I am well aware that sometimes good communication is based on common local words. For I would not want the Fluffy haired Flyboy to misunderstand my intent".

Before McKay could let rip at everyone in the damn room, especially that sniggering fool of a younger brother, everyone's attention was pulled to the entrance of the Lady Sif and Teyla. Suddenly he remembered why the damn gym hall was so full this morning, Teyla had invited the Asgardian warrior to spar with her.

In a show of solidarity to his AG1 Teammate, Rodney had put half a pound of his second best coffee beans in the betting pool for Teyla to win. The fact that he had also bribed Zelenka to cover his bases on Lady Sif was no matter. Woolsey had put up some fine Swiss chocolate and Rodney would be damned if he missed out on that. For goodness sake, he should get some credit because he had placed the Teyla bet first to show his faith in her.

After the party to end all parties, (and the less said about Lorne, Parrish, the flower pot, candle wax and the doomed Karaoke machine the better), Tony and Thor had been ready to leave the City and the Pegasus Galaxy to go back to Earth.

Only there had been a myriad of numerous little problems which needed Tony's expertise, unexpected breakdowns in completely autonomous systems which the surprising unhelpful and disinterested Atlantis blamed on lack of use for ten thousand years.

Lt Colonel Sheppard who could hear the increasingly frustrated exchanges between the Avenging Billionaire and almost brother-in-law and the unconcerned City AI had the image of a determined teenager shrugging her shoulders whilst uttering "meh" in a deliberately loud undertone.

Sheppard didn't know what Stark and his Sky Guy had done to piss off the AI, especially since she had made it a point to announce at the Party that she would forever be in their debt, including the temporary flamboyant ass kicking guests but it had finally got beyond a joke when he noticed the crease of a frown getting deeper and deeper on his Soulmates' brow. He wasn't going to allow whatever this was to upset Rodney too.  
God damn it, he actually did want some wild and wonderful sex before those two bozos left. If these problems carried on, Rodney would never come back to bed.

McKay was exchanging more concerned expressions with Zelenka by the damn hour let alone day. Because even in his oblivious genius brain working on a thousand different messages a second, the pattern of irritation and lack of progress was noticeable. Punch in the face or knee to the balls noticeable. And Tony's AI JARVIS was also noticeably silent. It wasn't fair. They had just sorted out the Wraith, now they had to deal with a ten thousand year old AI throwing a tantrum?

McKay noticed his big brother and his ever smiling sidekick er soulmate were out of the lab. Thor had dragged Tony off to the mess hall for something to eat. Eating was good. Eating would be nice but he knew that this was his best chance of getting Atlantis to fess up about what was going on.

Just as he threw down his pad and opened his mouth to vociferously demand to know what the hell her problem was, the internal city alarms began. Stunned disbelief gripped all the people in the room. Not a fucking again?

There were ominous flashing lights in the main city grid for an area they hadn't been able to reach in their exploration yet. It was also ominous that neither AI were making any attempt to contact them. For a second Rodney realised that he hadn't spoken to JARVIS for the same amount of time that Atlantis has been incommunicado, but he was distracted by the god damn wailing. He'd ask Tony what he had JARVIS working on this time when he had five seconds to breathe between bloody crises and emergencies. What the hell had invaded the god damn city now?

"Kit up Rodney, you are with me" Sheppard ordered briskly "We need to know if this problem is a threat to the City."

He couldn't let that go without well-deserved sarcasm. "Do you know how much work I have to do after the Wraith damage Sheppard? Do you? Do you have the tiniest inkling of the strain the science department is under because Atlantis has also absented herself? Even if they are mostly useless without my or Atlantis's input? Problem for the City eh? My fragrant non-French Canadian ass! When does the place not have a problem that's a threat to the City"

His complaints were cut off as Sheppard took off running like a bat out of hell. Huh always with the running shit. Would it be too much to ask that they have a civilised non murderous encounter with coffee and cakes after a pleasant gentle stroll just one damn time?

Tony watched his Soulmate happily devour the mess hall food whilst he desultorily sipped at the poor excuse for coffee this Galaxy had to offer. Good coffee was priority number one at the top of Tony's ever expanding list of essential Atlantis requirements to be shipped to his brother and his hapless colleagues as soon as Tony got back to Earth.

He also had to make sure that the hot but uptight righteous and snarky Carter had actually dealt with the power requirements for gate travel now that Tony had solved that particular problem. And the City was growing its own ZPM so they would not have to worry about that anymore. They could worry about everything else in this insane version of Wonderland but at least not that.

"Jay darling, remind me to smile at Carter all the time when we get back to the Mountain, as I need to make sure she has dealt with the gate travel correctly, and it will piss her off enough to get her to tell me the truth" he smirked. There was no response.

Tony frowned as he realised that it had been some time since he had any interaction with his AI. He had been so focused on his dealings with Atlantis, especially since she had become inexplicably uncooperative, and the wonderful fact that Thor was with him again that he hadn't noticed his lack of contact with JARVIS.

"Beloved, is something amiss?" the gentle tones were at a much lower volume than normal and Tony looked up with surprise into perceptive and loving blue eyes. He felt the connection between them all the way down to his toes.  
Despite his reputation and the many and varied public pictures to the contrary, Tony tried to restrict public PDA when it really mattered, and Thor really mattered. But the temptation was too great to resist, he raised his free hand and stroked the back of it against Thor's cheek. "I am the luckiest asshole in any universe" he half whispered and for a second his eyes were wet, then he blinked twice and the Stark smirk was back in full force.

Before he could literally say anything else, the City alarms kicked off. Tony's eyes widened in disbelief. Seriously! Seriously! He would be glad to get back to his damn tower, the many and varied attacks at his beloved energy revolutionising home were actually rather boring compared to living in this insane place. No offence to Atlantis but there was no way she was getting an A grade in response timing or warning for this one. No warning, no talking, and no JARVIS.

A worried scowl dented the smooth skin of his forehead as things began to click into place.  
No JARVIS? Where the hell was JARVIS? If the City AI had done something to him then he would salt her fucking earth, planet or whatever. JARVIS was his, his baby, his son in all but body and he would destroy anyone who hurt him. Anyone. It was too much of a coincidence that the damn alarms were going off in the city just as his own internal alarms were hitting screaming point because of his JARVIS.

Thor watched in fascination as the soldiers in the mess hall took off running at the high pitched wailing. He turned to face his Soul Mate with a little bow. "Iron Man, shall we assist?"

Tony extended his arms and the bracelets began to enclose him in his armour, the Iron Man lite version which could still sink this god damn City and everything in it if anything had happened to his boy.

McKay stared with open mouthed disbelief. They had raced to the origin of the alarms. Damn it, he didn't even have a chance to enjoy his Flyboy's fine ass whilst he followed, they were travelling so fast. All the way there he had the disturbing feeling they were being deliberately herded like lambs to the slaughter, but every time he gathered enough breath to mention it to the Colonel, the bloody man held his fist up in the universal military sign for silence.

Tony and Thor reached the suspect area the same time as McKay, Sheppard and the bunch of Marines. "Benefits of being able to fly big bro."  
Tony raised his face-plate to taunt his panting brother as Rodney rested against a wall trying to catch his breath. The only response was a carefully extended middle digit because the gasping wouldn't allow him to speak properly for at least another thirty seconds.

Fucking running, always with the running. Rodney ignored the sniggering fools around him in favour of getting enough oxygen back in his struggling lungs to be able to function. One of these days all that damn running was going to deprive his genius brain so much that he would become normal. Where would the smug bastards be then huh? Huh?

Suddenly the main entrance slid open invitingly and the alarms were suddenly silent as if they had passed through some sort of barrier. There had been too many unnerving and dangerous occurrences whilst they were learning the City's secrets so far that now caution was ingrained in their protocols for exploring new sections.

There was no obvious threat so McKay pulled out his ever trusty pad and scanned it. At a quick glance it looked like some sort of medical facility. Once it was secured they would need to get the some of the voodoo doctors down here to check it out.

But there was something soothing about the room, gentle pastel colours dominated the area and the light was almost kind on McKay's eyes. The very ones that he was going to strain from all the rolling they were doing. What the hell was going on? He couldn't pick up life signs or get anything from Atlantis or JARVIS.

Anxiety sat in his stomach like a bloody great rock. A bit like the only piece of equipment in the bare room. Well he called it equipment, he wasn't too sure what it was yet but the pod thing lurked enticingly in the pedestal in the centre of the empty room and what was worse was that it seemed to pulse with a soft light.

By unspoken agreement they all moved into position around the distracting centrepiece, weapons trained and at the ready. Well the various armaments used by the motley crew of Avengers and Military. Although they all looked oddly discomforted whilst doing so.  
Rodney had gone one better, he had his trusty pad. Knowledge was always the most powerful weapon of all.

"It's a womb" McKay blurted out "What?" queried his disconcerted Colonel. "Am I speaking English? I am speaking English right? A womb, artificial, made for growing baby Ancients, well I assume baby Ancients, could be growing tomatoes for all I know"  
He switched his attention back to the pad, trying to translate more of the information and therefore missed the change in light patterns and the high pitched hiss as the artificial womb began to open. It wasn't lost on any of the others in the room though.

"Hey, if I'm reading this right, they could even customise the age they wanted their offspring"  
The more Rodney learnt about the Ancients the more he thought they were morons, morally deficient ascending obsessed, self-centred morons. What the hell would they need artificial wombs for? Experimentation? Rodney had already shut down and sealed some questionable labs with details of experiments that made him sick to his stomach. Was this where they created the monsters like the Wraith from the damn bug that had nearly taken John away from him? Morons.

Rodney raised his head at the lack of response. Shit that appalled expression on his Soul Mate's face did not bode well. McKay swung round to face whatever John was staring at and his brain stuttered to a stop as he took in the sight before him. The light filled pod thing had opened and lowered itself to the ground. Presumably to ensure that its occupant did not fall and hurt himself.

A little naked boy. Very young, no more than four years old. Though McKay couldn't be sure. He was a Scientist not a nursemaid. He didn't do kids. Hell he only knew Jeanie's brats' ages because she told him ad nauseum.

He risked a quick look at Sheppard. Yes that was definitely a Sheppard scowl. Stark had a strange wary expression on his face whilst Thor had lowered his hammer and was smiling gently at the alleged kid. The Marines just looked gobsmacked.  
But he couldn't look away from the subject of their stares for long.

The small child seemed to take no notice of who was around him. Little hands touched his own face and then held up his fingers to his eyes. He wiggled them as he smiled in wonder. He touched the tip of his nose and his eyes crossed.

Suddenly strangely familiar brown eyes met his and the little boy gave him a shy smile and a tentative "Hello" Then the little boy stared at the adults surrounding him with intense interest until his gaze latched onto Tony. His little face lit up. He tilted his head and spoke clearly and confidently

"Sir it is 12:45pm on Monday 3rd November. We are on the City of Atlantis in the Pegasus Galaxy and the temperature is 58 degrees. You have no meeting scheduled today". Then he blushed and whispered "Did I do vat right JARVIS?"

Tony's paled dramatically and took a step back. That English accent was unmistakable even with the adorable lisp. Those words were pure JARVIS. It wasn't possible was it? This wasn't possible. But his brain began to work on the problem without his consent. So for once in his life he kept quiet.

Rodney could feel his heart sink at the only possible conclusion. For the love of Science, they had only just managed to deal with the Wraith and now this? Couldn't this damn Galaxy give them a break for five fucking minutes?  
The voice was obviously based upon JARVIS but there was no way it could possibly be the AI. There was only one race he knew of that could do this. They could mimic anyone or anything.

A replicator, a damn replicator. How the hell had they got into Atlantis without setting any alarms off, and especially in this particular area. It must have been deliberate. The two Thors had been adamant that they had dealt with the Replicator threat permanently. So what the hell? .

He looked at his Soul Mate and saw the closed off expression as Sheppard's hand hovered over his holster. Something ugly clawed at his chest in panic. It was a child. John wouldn't hurt a child. John couldn't hurt a child. Ice chilled his spine at the situation.

The little boy looked frightened for a moment then that little face lit up with merriment as he smiled again. He was behaving as if someone was whispering in his ear "You are silly. I'm not a repi fingy. A repilator?" He cocked his head in an achingly recognisable way. Dear God, it was exactly like Tony when he was considering something. Rodney watched Tony take another step back.  
The little voice continued "Those metal jigsaw peoples. I'm not one of them. The pretty Lantis lady says I'm a boon" Then the boy stopped, his bottom lip dropped into a thoughtful pout as he asked curiously "What's a boon Unca Roney?"

Rodney found himself answering automatically "My name is Rodney kid" he corrected without thinking, the little boy frowned "that's what I said Unca Roney".  
Rodney stared at the earnest little face, saw that stubborn Stark expression and knew when he was beaten. He might be able to argue until he was blue in the face with an adult but he knew better with a young kid. He rolled his eyes but decided to answer said kid's question.

"A boon is an old fashioned word for a gift, a present. What's your name and who's the pretty lady?" he carried on.

"McKay" Sheppard hissed displeased beside him. His damn soulmate was once again ignoring military protocol. Even if it looked like a human boy, there was no way it was possible. Until they knew for sure, John didn't want his soulmate anywhere near the thing. That included interacting with it. Who knew what sort of trap a shivering naked defenceless infant could have in store for them? Wait what? Shivering? God damn it. Those big brown eyes were filling with tears and his little lips were trembling. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Rodney began to fear an epic child tantrum. So not going to deal with that. Replicator or no Replicator.

John reacted before Rodney had even unzipped his jacket. The man had his t-shirt off, his ridiculously built abs on display and was knelt in front of the little one holding it out with a tentative smile.  
The little boy stared at it in confusion and then bent his head towards John as he whispered loudly "Lantis lady didn't show me how to dress myself Unca John"

Utterly enchanted, and he would shoot anyone who ever mentioned it but John's smile grew wider "Put your arms up" he gently instructed the boy and dropped the t-shirt over the small head until it hit the floor. The little one wasn't very tall, and the t-shirt seemed determined to slip off those frail little shoulders.

"If you are JARVIS, then how do you not know how to dress yourself?" McKay's suspicions rose again as he bluntly pointed out what was to him blindingly obvious. Tony was staying suspiciously, horrifyingly silent near the entrance and Thor was splitting his attention between worried scowls at Tony and soft looks at the little boy. Thor was no fool. He understood the relevance of the blonde hair and the brown eyes.

"Lantis Lady says I am a boon for Daddy and JARVIS cos they helped her wake up. When I get big I will 'member stuff I knew before. M'not really JARVIS. Just gots bits of him, and bits of Daddy and bits of Papa Tor. Lantis Lady and JARVIS are tired now cos it's hard work making a baby. JARVIS is quiet cos he has to rebuild parts of his code. JARVIS needs to stay wiv Daddy so he protect him."

"Atlantis and JARVIS made a baby?" Stark's tones were incredulous as he finally spoke. Damn where had he gone so wrong with his hand puppet show?

His gaze remained glued to the child. He didn't know what to feel, how the hell would he cope with being a parent? He didn't even want kids did he? Just because the little thing had Thor's hair and sunny smile, JARVIS's voice and his Mamma's eyes, that didn't mean that he was just going to roll over and accept it. Damn it. The child was a cold blooded design attempt to appeal to Tony Stark on as many physical and emotional levels as possible. And that was not good was it?

Actually on the other hand maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. That was probably the way he would do it if he could reinvent the whole baby making process. At least for himself. Other people liked pot luck in the lottery of life creation. Wow mixed metaphors much!

Even if he was a futurist, his designs were his, to meet a perceived need or gap in the market. His, so why should this be any different. JARVIS had met his original need and then gone on to grow in way Tony hadn't totally foreseen. Such a beautiful amazing being from lines of code.

What? Why was he even thinking like this? This was outrageous. How the hell could he look after a kid?  
His life was dangerous. Growing up a Stark was dangerous. Growing up as part of Thor's family would be dangerous. Even if that bat shit old guy Odin accepted him as family. Well why wouldn't he? He accepted the baby frost giant. Yeah and look how well that turned out Stark.

Hell growing up was just plain dangerous anyway and this was fucking amazing. This walking breathing and taking being was a baby JARVIS with Thor's hair. His true loves blended together.

The speed of his own thought processes sometimes left him gasping.

The smile on Thor's face was growing. He tried to understand his Soulmate's fear but the joy he felt when the little one had named him Papa Tor knew no bounds. Could Antony not see how very like him the little one was? Those beautiful eyes in that little face. The quick wits, the shape of his ears and his chin. The uncertain bravery, the longing to be loved.

The concern of the Colonel and his Scientist was unfounded. The aura of life in the little one owed nothing to those machines he and his Warriors had triumphed over on board the small grey one's vessel. Somehow the magnificent City had created this beautiful child from the essences of his beloved, himself and the mighty JARVIS. The gratitude he felt was all consuming.

Thor bowed deeply and his voice was the formal tones of a Prince of Asgard.

"I thank you My Lady Atlantis for this most wondrous gift. Our Son will be most loved and protected."

Tony stared wide eyed as Thor knelt before the little boy. Fuck feelings, so many feelings. He should be panicking, he should be furious because Thor was accepting this without even talking about it. Bleugh talking about feelings! Had he learnt nothing from the years of off again and on again counselling?

But his heart and mind calmed when he saw the expression on his Soulmate's face. The Big Guy was staring so longingly at the little kid as if he had given up hope of having any children of his own. Okay, he was Thor's man of Iron. He could do this. He could so fucking do this. He would do this. He had lost Thor once, he would do anything for him, even face his own fears and the little guy was theirs. No doubt about it. His vision smeared then he was moving towards them. This was scarier than flying that damn nuke into Space.

Thor's big hand raised to gently cup the small face as he smiled at him. "I welcome thee with all my heart my dearest son."

McKay and Sheppard watched as Stark stumbled forwards and knelt beside the huge Avenger facing the uncertain little boy. McKay was damn sure that the glazed look in Tony's eyes were actually tears but he wasn't going to mention it. Especially when Tony's usual brash tones filled the room. "Yeah, what he said kid"

Their baby boy giggled.

McKay stared at the sappy expressions of all the idiots in the room with him. What the hell was wrong with these people? Why was he surrounded by useless grade A fools? A cute kid and some angst and the tooth rotting fluff and the morons forgot the most important issue.

"For the love of Science, what's the kid's name? I swear on Einstein's equations that my nephew better be named after me in some fashion or I will destroy your credit rating Stark."

Fin.

* * *

AN:

And we are done. 5000 plus words of total self indulgence for this last chapter and I don't care. I will never forgive MCU for killing JARVIS. Vision is fine but he ain't JARVIS. So my story my JARVIS. Feel the love.  
Hope you still have teeth in your heads after the fluff and thank you all for sharing this with me. I have loved all the comments and been amazed at how this attempt at a humorous and faintly angsty alternate universe has been so well received. As per usual, I only meant it to be a couple of chapters but the characters ran away with it. Hope the hand wavy science didn't put anyone off but its fan fiction so I can basically change the laws of physics Jim. Lol.  
I know there is probably a lot more I could write in a sequel and that may happen at some point but not right now. Keep safe my lovelies x No infringements intended.


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